36 inches of brown legs

cough

2011-05-17T21:54:00.000+01:00

clears giant cobwebs!!

Hi!

Its always the good ones.....

2010-03-08T21:14:00.009+01:00

Rest in Peace Aloaye.

we miss you.

Aloaye Trevor Adams

22nd Nov 1980 - 6th March 2010.

i am and always will be a blogger but...

2010-02-23T22:20:00.002+01:00

Sometimes the desire to blog just isnt there. my life in the last one year or so has been mad interesting and challengng, so much has happened that is very much blog worthy but blogsville just isnt the same as it was years ago when i started blogging.
i miss d old times, i miss d old folks, i miss d ones who i grew up with (at least thats what it feels like) there r so many new blogs now that quite frankly r annoying to say the least, most of them r juvenile and dont even make much sense, dont get me wrong there r some new bloggers who r great but.... u get d point.
There are still d bloggers who make me come here every other day, the ones i still read diligently.. i wish for the old days back, where i was blogging at least once a week, but i cant lie that mojo is so far gone!
i am not here to say any goodbyes, im just here to clean out the cobwebs, lol, and yes it is a giant order to ask me to come back fully BUT
i will be here, every now and then, a comment or two.. a post or two..

See me see trouble

2009-12-15T14:14:00.003+01:00

I couldn't think of a title, actually maybe the title of this post should be how grateful i am to still be here. So i had a car crash last week... i was driving home at about 10pm, and i stopped at a police check point just before a set of traffic lights, i stopped cos well there were cars in front of me, so i waited.... 10 or 15 seconds later all i heard was a loud bang! and my car literarily flew forward! i quickly grabbed d steering and swerved to the left to avoid hitting the car in front of me... my head whipped forward and hit the back of my seat which caused my whiplash then i sat there for about 2minutes.... then i stepped out to see d damage.

It was a mess! and i was speechless, first i was Thankful that i had been wearing my seat belt, now dnt get me wrong o, i always wear my seat belt but there r times when im literally driving to the next street and im being lazy, but once i hit 20 my car starts to make an annoying beeping sound that doesn't stop until im clicked in! however the only reason i was wearing a belt? cos i was driving myself, which made me wonder why we never use seat bets sitting at the back? if i had a driver and i had been sitting there, i dont know what would have happened to be honest!

Anyways after talking and whatever i got back into my car, the dude says he will meet me at porsche in the morning (U know i dont drive a porsche abi? it just sounds nice. lol) somewhere in my mind im thinking the dude isnt going to turn up tomorrow so im already doing a mental calculation in my head, oh at this point my head was pounding, my neck was stiff and my back was aching badly.

i was about 3 or so streets from home so i drove home and went to bed, i dont think i said anything else dat day. the next morning i woke up with an even bigger headache, so off to porsche (again u know i dnt drive one? before one stupid anon will say i am forming now) in the morning, guess what??? the guy was there waiting for me! i was truly shocked, i honestly didnt think he would turn up....

anyways cutting the long story short, my car is fixed and back on the road, i still have pains but i shall live.

I just thought to pop by to share this and to also wish everyone a safe and merry xmas!

PS: Please do not drink and drive!!! worse still do NOT bb and drive! it is worse than drink driving!

PPS: i have a feeling thats what the dude that hit me was doing, it really could have been a different story if he were going any faster!

3 years ago......

2009-11-10T10:35:00.004+01:00

Exactly 3 years ago today, i started this blog, quite frankly i didn't know what i was getting myself into really but i did anyway, i started out reading overwhelmed, Olawunmi, Soul and someone else i cant remember now, and i thought hang on this would be great! for me to be able to air my thoughts anonymously and get some great advice and all.. little did i know!

My blog has been drama filled...

The blogging community has been/ can be harsh o!! kai, when i first started blogging i was regular, a post every other day, or at least once a week, it was fun, it was like talking to/with family, people left comments, if it was an issue and i wanted advice i got it, i had the ppl who criticised some things i did, but it was constructively. no beef, no hatred nothing!! then the 'anons' arrived and oh boy!!

i started getting all these hateful comments that i couldn't even comprehend, how do u hate someone u don't even know? how do u sit behind ur computer and say such horrible things? i got tired, my 'friends' started to leave one after the other, the anons kept at it... i mean here i was, i had one of the most personal blogs out there, i spoke about my life as honestly as i could, sometimes because i genuinely wanted help or advice, other times because i simply wanted my life to be an example to someone, that u can be successful, irrespective of where u r coming from.

i blogged about life, love, work, being adopted, my siblings, boyfriends..... but then one day i got a comment that actually made me cry, it was a personal attack, i had a feeling it was someone i knew cos it was so personal that is sat back and thought.. wao, how?? how can someone hate me so much. Now im really not the sort of person that cares what anyone thinks about me, i mean to hell with ur thoughts but this comment just hit me, i guess it might have been cos i was going thru so much heartache at the time... anyway so after that comment i said goodbye to blogsville. i was done!! i couldnt take it anymore... so i thought!

2 weeks later i was back, lol. dis blogsville na juju o, some ppl were genuinely happy to have me back, i remember getting an email from a blogger saying how much i inspired her. it made my day. however, my blogging style changed, i slowed down on talking intimately about my life, but it was hard.. cos my blog was personal. at some point i went off again for a few mths, so much was going on in my life that i really wanted to blog about but couldnt.... like getting married...starting my own business (and stillw orking full time) lol.

blogsville hasnt been all doom though.... i have made some amazing friends.... Olawunmi, Overwhelmed, Snazzy, Uzo, Tminx... too numerous to mention... speaking of Tminx i remember the good old days of her and baba alaye.... damn those were d days. lol

my business partner is someone i met on blogsville who amazingly turned out to be a distant cousin.

in all, blogging has been mad! i have had an amazing time..... still meeting people.... still blogging.... and still giving anons the finger!!!!!! e ma run down ni!!

Cupcake Couture

2009-10-23T10:57:00.006+01:00

Introducing Cupcake Couture...
Welcome to the world of custom designed cupcakes and cookies

Seriously i cannot tell you guys how amazing these cupcakes are. pictures dont lie and the cakes r as delicious as they look.

Vanilla and chocolate cupcakes packed and ready to go..
Light airy vanilla cupcakes with vanilla butter cream topped with juicy green grapes

White cupcakes topped with vanilla buttercream and chocolate & sugar covered biscuit candy pieces

Chocolate cupcakes topped with strawberry frosting.

how to order? i thought u wouldnt ask.

Cupcake Couture - 01-8724914

or u can join the group on facebook -

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2326366&id=64142039043#/group.php?gid=138863907115&v=info

or send an email to - uzo@ccupcakecouture.com

Enjoy! off to order mine for the 2nd of November. ive been off sugar all of this month... long story ill blog about it next, have a fab weekend! God bless.

36 is....

2009-10-11T23:39:00.002+01:00

Things currently pissing me off:

1. can someone please explain this to me, how the HELL do u look at me and tell me i am still going to be fat?? i swear ppl in naija make me sick. if one more person tells me im going to be fat ill kill somebody! i mean seriously, n woman that i dont even know had d audacity to tell me she can tell im going to be fat just by looking at my legs, even tapped d back of my legs for good measure, telling me cnt u see u retain water? i mean seriously?

2. i officially hate banking. with the drama thats been going on in the Nigerian banking industry i just feel done. ive done investment banking for 8 years now and im just tired! and even though i have started 2 business that r going great i still cnt quit... *sigh*

3. Those vendors in traffic stay geting on my damn nerves, i mean if i really want to buy ur 'lewis vuitton' lol sunglasses, id call u myself, dont be tossing shit in my face and saying 'baby dis one go fit u o' bloody plonker. i am so getting tinted windows on my next car.

4. speaking of which, yes we r still on this range rover business, im over the LR3 though, my brother got one and i drove it, and my arms ached after, the things hard like molue. lol.

5. Marriage is really not by force! ppl please! understand this! kai the things ive seen girls do lately just to be married, i swear it puts the fear of God in me.

6. my friend who is getting battered everyday see here is now engaged and getting married early nxt year, she asked me to be a bridesmaid and i said no.

7. speaking of weddings, why oh why do we get in debt over weddings!!! a friend of a friend called me the other day to ask if i could talk to another friend at First bank to get a loan, i asked what the loan was for and she said for her wedding. my hand just fall.

8. explain to me how a woman who is 5.7 can wear pants that r not long enough? how do u explain that? seriously?

9. ive lost my blogging mojo, seriously i always want to blog but the words just dont come... oya come back mojo!

Blame it on Gossard....

2009-09-16T10:43:00.002+01:00

i honeslty cannot remember when this little 'problem' started but i think it was sometime in 2001 or 2, some of my friends think its psychological, some think its just plain mad... but i confess i CANNOT wear underwear that does not match!

And i blame it on Gossard.... Gossard is an underwear brand and they make some really nice stuff... in 2002 0r 3 i think, there was an ad on tv.. a girl is about to croos the road and she didnt do the look left look right and look left again thing (she don use d knowledge chop eba. lol) and she gets hit by a double decker bus! she is still conscious as they rush her to the hospital, and as they wheeled her into ER they brought out a pair of scissiors to cut up her clothes, and thats where the drama began... she scramed, begged, fought and did everything for them not to cut off her clothes, but of curse they had to and whne they did.... d moment froze... she was wearing a pink bra and blue knickers, i think one was lace d other cotton or somthing like that.. i have been scared since then.

what was d moral of that story? u never know when u r gooing to get hit by a bus? i digress.

so the day after d ad, i started to invest in mathcing underwear and ive been wearing them ever since. i cringe when i see girls in red bras and blue knickers, it just screams 'WRONG'

Iwent to the hospital a few weeks ago and the doctor needed to examine me, i took my shirt off, and had to pull my skirt down a bit as it was an high waisted skirt sho she could check my stomach (no i am not pregnant) anyways this doctor couldnt have been more than 27 at the most and she burst into laughter upon seeing my underwear and said why r u all matched up... i looked her like u must be fucking kidding me, the doc was pretty, had on a really nice dress and all that, but i couldnt help but wonder, u mean under that dress theres all sorts of foolishness going on?

so heres my question, do u wear matching underwear?, if yes why? if no why? do u feel comfortable?

im a bad friend

2009-09-07T10:45:00.003+01:00

so i got called a bad friend yesterday... its d first time anyone has ever said that to me.. i think i can easily say i am a good fiend to my people. i mean i spend time with my friends, they r very important to me, i make them a priority (sometimes over and above myself), i notice the little stuff, im there for the good and bad, but most importantly i am the most honest friend u probably will have..

so it is because of my honesty that i got labelled a bad friend a few days ago, and guess what i actually do not care. so a friend of mine is engaged to this douchebag, lets just call him 'Chris' Chris and Tayo have been together since uni, and in that 7 yrs or so, she has had a few black eyes, one cracked rib from being thrown down the stairs and countless slaps.. all in the name of love.

Chris slaps Tayo at any given point, its happened in front of me before, i remember it was sometime in 2002, we were in her room in uni, with 2 other girls and we were gisting away, apparently Chris had been calling and she handt picked up obviously cos she didnt hear her phone ring.. next thing he turns up at her door, i opened d door he barged past me and landed her a dirty slap. where have u been? why haven u been answering ur phone? blah blah blah. i was in so much shock but i managed to pull him back before he slapped her some more. d next day she came over to mine and i told her i didnt think it was right for a man to raise his hands to a woman and for her own safety its best she end d relationship. she told Chris what i said.. we fell out after that and i didnt see her again until early last year, she had moved back to Nigeria and so had Chris. she said they were still friends but not together. i was happy for her. fast forward mid last year i saw her at d palms looking suspicious, she had sunglasses on, but i knew she was sporting a black eye, and i asked r u back with Chris, she nodded, i love him 36, u wouldnt understand. u damn right i dont understand, what is wrong with u, do u not learn, is it until he kills u? a week after they broke up... i saw her again in the week and she happily told me ther were back together again, again she said i wouldnt understand, so i said u know what heres the deal, how bout u let me know when he kills u, id be happy to say how dumb u r at ur funeral, so she says im a bad friend i should just be there for her and support her... me i do not support foolishness in any way.

2 years on.....

2009-08-26T11:07:00.007+01:00

Tosin,

Its been 2 years, today i woke up with a heavy heart, people say time heals all wounds but urs still has not healed and probably never will.

Its been hard..... but i know that u r ina better place and i know that God knows best. doesnt make it any less painful.

a lot of stuff has happened, thing u would have been overjoyed about,t hings u might have laughed about, things u might have ust said '36 u r not well' as usual

I smile when i think of your smile, I smile when i think of the sister that u were, i smile because no one can take ur place in my heart, u truly were a best friend.

I smile cos i know that u r smiling down on all of us, most especially Mofe and Gbenga, by the way sister u for give Gbenga small resemblance now, Mofe is a spitting image of you!!!!

I dont know what else to say other than i miss you...i really really do.

R.I.P Tosin Fuja. May 6 1981 - Aug 26 2007

http://tosinajenifuja.memory-of.com/About.aspx

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy 37h wedding anniversary mum and dad! i wish u many more years of happiness!!
luv u lots

Gender issues+ some randoms

2009-08-20T16:45:00.004+01:00

South African runner Caster Semenya has been ordered to undergo a gender verification test, to prove she rightfully won the gold medal in the women’s 800 meters at the world championships in Berlin on Wednesday.

Proving one’s gender isn’t always so easy. Aside from the obvious physical signs, chromosomes usually determine whether a person is male or female. Males are born with XY chromosomes while females have two X chromosomes.

About 1 percent of people are born with some kind of sexual ambiguity, sometimes referred to as intersexuality. These people may have the physical characteristics of both genders, a chromosomal disorder, or simply have ambiguous features. People who have both male and female organs are hermaphrodites.

Until 1999, the International Olympic Committee analyzed chromosomes from saliva samples to confirm the gender of female competitors and prevent men from masquerading as women. Other sports organizations have called the tests unreliable. The tests were scrapped before the 2000 Sydney Games.

The most common cause of sexual ambiguity is congenital adrenal hyperplasia, an endocrine disorder where the adrenal glands produce abnormally high levels of hormones.

In women, this means a masculine appearance. They may have female sexual organs, but the ovaries may be unable to produce estrogen, preventing the growth of breasts or pubic hair.

There are also several rare chromosomal disorders where women may have some male characteristics. Women with Turner syndrome, which affects about 1 in 2,000 babies, typically have broad chests and very small breasts. Their ovaries do not develop normally and they cannot ovulate.

About 1 in 1,000 women are also born with three X chromosomes. They tend to be exceptionally tall, with long legs and slender torsos. They usually have female sexual organs and are fertile.

A handful of athletes have typically dropped out or been thrown out of the Olympics for failing gender tests over the years. But no evidence supports the idea that such competitors have an unfair athletic advantage.

Random stuff:

for the first time in my ENTIRE career i am actually terrified of losing my job! as many of u know, CBN recently fired the CEOs and EDs of 5 banks. no im not an ED o!! lol. however there is just a lof of madness going on in the banking industry at the moment and its quite scary, i can officialy say i am tired of investment banking. *sigh*

Do u miss weddingvogue.blogspot.com? i do too, so go check out twistevents.blogspot.com
i saw a hot pink range rover on third mainland 2 weeks ago, it was and still remains d ugliest mess i have seen in a long time. and no i aint even beefing. dat mess was ugly.
if one more person asks me if im preganat, walahi i will shoot sombody

For You...

2009-08-05T17:25:00.003+01:00

Heres to our first dance..... May it last forever... u r the best!

Customer service.... Naija style

2009-07-23T11:27:00.000+01:00

lol, correct customer service!!

random thoughts..

2009-07-16T11:54:00.003+01:00

i dont think ive ever done a random post on my blog so here goes....

Why do street vendors (recharge card, drinks, mags etc) come to your car and slap whatever it is they r selling against your window? Like seriosuly?? back up off me! r u crazy? do u think that if i need to buy whatever it is u r selling i wouldnt holla at u. Nigga move!!
why oh why did i turn up for a meeting last week and i was d only female (nothing new there really but..) with 12 guys only for me to hear one of them go, please lets pray? dude? what about exactly? and then he stares at me and says can someone pray for us, i just looked at him like homie u cnt be seriouss.. dnt get it wrong o im all for been religious and all but come on, in a room with 15 ppl? how about if im muslim and then u start ur in Jesus name?
i miss London! when iw as living there i could eat ANYTHING and not put on weight, cos u walk every damn where, u run for d bus d train and everything! in lagos, men u drive everywhere o, to d 'corner shop' sef u drive, so therefore 36 realises that contrary to what she thought before she can actually put on weight... and i have gone up a FULL dress size in d last month or so. madness i tell u
why is it dat drivers/domestic help r just hell bent on making u show ur area girl side? ive been driving myself for 2 weeks now cos my driver upped and left! after having a long ass conversation with him o, dude came to tell me he thinks i treat him like a slave? i asked him to give me an example of how, he says oh i just drive, u dont have conversations with me in d car! LMAO! im sorry but what am i supposed to say exactly? oh isnt the weather lovely today? bloody idiot.
still thinking about d range rover...
still wondering why everyone is all up in arms about buying it
wondering why this morning as i made to buy FT from d vendor he insited on giving me city people... is it because *gasp* i am a woman.. foolish people
people think they can just cut infront of you bcos u r a woman and clearly do not know how to drive or have anything meaningful to do with ur time.
still wondering why people keep trying to pass off my work as theirs, im either really smart or they r really foolish. lol
still wondering why i got this email fron 'anon' lol are we supposed to blive that someoen married you, pls do urself a favour and stop d madness, u r just a fake girl, full of pretence and lies, u r not married, u dont have a ;high flying' job as u always claim and u aint shit'..... how do u spell HATER again? i wont even dignify u by responding.
wish i could take some time off to do this Phd.. i love d idea of being called Dr 36 Brown..
why must women change their names when they get married? if u dont change ur name or wear a ring does that make u any less married
grateful for friends, even more grateful for new ones
i think i must have the best siblings in the world
thinking there r to many birthdays in September
Look forward to celebrating mum and dads 37Th anniversary.
just started 2 new businesses, and they MUST work out, cos i need to be out of this 100hour week industry when i start popping out mini 36
36 realises that this post doesn't make any sense
and shes sleepy...

the begininng......

2009-07-06T11:17:00.002+01:00

The Ice Cream Factory...

2009-05-26T12:42:00.010+01:00

Introducing... The Ice Cream Factory

I went there last night... i had a waffle.... with caramel and banana.... then i had a chocolate chip muffin.... i totally blew my diet (oops healthy eating i meant to say)

Waffle with ice cream...

Madagascan vanilla with caramel cream sauce....

A selection of ice cream.......

A cross section of the menu 1....

menu 2.....

Menu 3....

Where is it? phew!!! i thought ud never ask:

The Ice Cream Factory

1613B Omega Bank Avenue, Off Adeola Hopewell Street - Victoria Island

Cant afford d daddy? Might as well have d son....

2009-04-07T16:44:00.007+01:00

i think ive blogged about my love for this before, im in all kinds of LOVE with this car, i have day dreamed d sege out of owning one, but u know what i cant afford it. (Yet).. seeing as i cant afford this daddy...

i thought i might as well by the son...

i am this close to paying for this car, The LR3.but ive been having sleepless nights about it, ive been called to a family meeting because if this car, saying why would u want to buy this... i have been told that Coscharis is going to ruin me with how much they charge to service this baby.... i have been warned that i will remain single for life (little do they know).... i have been told that if i dare park this car next to my ogas range then he d have no choice but to fire me.... i have been told that it is rude to drive the same car as ppl who pay your salary..... i have been told that i will attract unnecessary attention (ok this might be a little true)... im tempted very very tempted... please help me!!!!!

PS: if u r one stupid anon who wants to give me a negative comment pls dont even bother leaving a comment u hear! thainks very kaindly (Thank u very much)

Errr no title

2009-04-02T10:27:00.002+01:00

I just had a conversation with my biological dad, first time in 5 years, we spoke for all of 10mins. he says we (al his kids that is) have decided to stop speaking to him, and that he doesnt understand why, blah blah i kinda felt sorry for him in a way, ah well........

This just takes the F**king Piss......

2009-03-19T16:02:00.003+01:00

I mean the girl is not even dead yet, what kind of fuckery is this?

Are we in such a hurry to see her go?

Rants!!

2009-03-04T13:36:00.003+01:00

36 is upset, very very upset! upset over this foolish N100 plantain chips....

So Lush buys me this plantain chips on a regular basis from some woman that sells in his office, this chips is different walahi! very different! i reckon d woman puts a lil 'something' in it but thats another story, anyways so ive been addicted to this plantain chips and i usually eat one everyday (yea needless to say i am getting fat but who cares). so i got my weekly installment last sunday and i was mizing the chips now, my sister asked me for 2 i said no o i can only spare u one. On monday night i was working late (as usual) and feeling perkish, i opened my drawer and i saw an apple and a pack of plantain chips, i picked up d apple but the yeye plantain chips was giving me one kain eye. so i apologized to d apple with a promise to eat it later and proceeded to eat my plantain chips. it was great as usually, i washed it down with some freshly squeezed pineapple and apple juice. heaven!!

So afterwards, i ran my tongue over my teeth na as u always do (u dont? really? sorry o, u wey no dey shit) and i felt something where a tooth should have been, i thought maybe it was a plantain chip dat was stuck there so i did it again! chineke!! this heifer of a plantain chip went and cracked my tooth!!!!!!!!! i ran to the bathroom hoping and praying i was wrong! i looked in the mirror and there was this huge hole in my tooth!!! i wanted to cry, laugh and scream at the same time! damn this effing plantain chips.

i was so depressed after that i just packed up and went home, straight to bed. the following morning i called my dentist, he was very happy to hear my voice, i told him i broke my tooth! he says oh no!! how?? uve only had it for a few weeks, u see ive been going to the dentist a little more than usual these days, cos i finally got my crooked teeth fixed, i had veneers and for d first time in my life i have straight teeth!!! it is amazing i swear, i dont usually smile, nothing personal just dont like smiling much but now! no one can get me to keep my teeth in o! i digress, i thought i was done with all my visits to d dentist only for dis oloshi of a plantain chip to send me right back! i got to the dentist at 3.45pm yesterday an hour and a half later i was out with a new tooth and some thousands of naira bill. all for this yeye N100 plantain chips!!! needless to say i am so over u Mr plantain chips, u can take ur shit out of my life and dont come back u hear!

36 is amused, very very amused, amused with ppl who just would not....

So, i am an extremely blessed child, and also extremely intelligent (yes i said it, sue me) as such been pretty successful in my career. it amazes me all the time when people just refuse to believe that 'this child' (thats me by the way) is the head of a department, or is on xyz level. let me give u an example, i went for a meeting with my boss and a colleague who is on the same level as me and also the head of another department, one of the guys we went to meet was doing the introductions to his other colleague and he goes, this is Mr Boss man as u already know, then this is Mr colleague he is the head of zxy dept and this is miss 36 she 'helps out' with xxx department, i smile, ive had about 5 or 6 meetings with this guy and every time he introduces me to people he says i 'help' with d department, it used to really upset me when people would come up to me and ask if i was the new 'youth corper' but what is amusing for me is always when someone knows that u head this department and still refuses to admit or blive dat u indeed do. walahi it is funny!

UPDATE;
I forgot to add, its my birthday next tuesday, yes presents are very essential. Lol!

Secret Santa...

2009-01-28T12:52:00.001+01:00

hey people!!!

im back again!! lol. i keep disappearing and appearing, i always want to blog but just never ever have time, theres so much going on right now and work is kicking my ass big time, but today i have a lil bit of time so im blogging or rather ranting!!!

so last christmas (it sounds like such a long time ago now), an email popped up from human resources and it read:

Xmas season is here again with lots of blah blah blah and another opportunity to express warm wishes and send gifts to our 'friends' (me i can count how many friends i have in this building so i dont know what HR was talking about, friends ko? friends ni). Here in Suliat company limited we express such heart warming wishes by having a 'secret santa'

the mail goes on to explain what secret santa is - an anonymous person who gives a gift... blah blah blah. and the Hr then explains how it works: everyones names gets written on a slip of paper and put in a sack/bag/whatever, each staff has to pick one name from the sack/bag/whatever but u cant disclose the name you pick, so u buy whoever it is you've picked a pressie and leave it under the christmas tree by December 23rd.

aww thats nice i thought, i wonder who id pick, i fantasied about picking one of the junior chicks on my floor who is really sweet and i pictured maybe buying her a really nice suit or a nice pair of shoes or something, i though about picking some hot dude on my floor maybe i could buy him a nice shirt or a nice belt or something, whatever i thought about all sorts, anyways bottom line was i had a budget in mind.

then came my turn to pick a name from the sack/hat/whatever, honestly i cant lie, i really wanted to pick a youth corper or an analyst at the most so i wouldnt exceed my budget, so i shuffled and shuffled the hat/sack and finally picked a name! lo and behold did miss 36 not go and pick.... wait for it..... A SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT!! I mean seriously out of all d corpers and analysts in this office? hell an associate would have been okay sef! not only did i pick a senior VP, the guy happens to be an incredibly nice guy who dresses extremely well, think GQ! so instantly i knew i was in trouble and my budget went out of the window, cos quite frankly i didnt want to buy anyone a gift they would 'dash' their driver

to cut the long story short, i searched online and came up with the perfect gift, a peach and orange Loewe tie, cost a bit but i knew the guy would like it and actually wear it. so i wrapped it up nicely and placed it under d xmas tree hoping and praying that whoever picked my name would at least get me something nice/useful dat i dont have to 'dash' my housegirl. lol

so i went off on holiday and forgot about this secret santa, resumed back in Jan and still no pressie for me under d tree, HR then sends me a mail saying, my 'santa' was on leave and i would get my gift in due course, ha! okay maybe d fact that its late means they will be getting me a gift from 'obodo oyinbo' if only i knew what was coming.....

some random office assistant comes to me one morning and asks me if im 36, yes i say, he goes HR says to give this to you, as soon as i saw d cheap ass red gift bag i knew i was in trouble but u know i thought maybe just maybe my santa didnt have time to buy one and just picked some old random one from home. next thing i saw was a piece of paper, stapled to d bag, did u hear me? a piece of paper, roughly torn, i mean seriously at least tear d paper with a ruler na, or better still put a sticky note on it gaddemit! anyways d paper had a strange name, it said something like Olu36 Bronzy, last i checked my name was Oluwa36 Brown, i mean u couldnt even be bothered to check d right spelling of my name???

then i finally opened d bag, and i swear all i could do was laugh, i mean seriously, in there was one of those N1000 perfume that u buy in traffic!!! pls dont get me wrong, i realise that this person might have been a corper but wo lets be real, i work in a company where we pay ppl a retarded(in Isis words) amount of money and corpers r not left out. but again lets even assume dis person was broke, i would have appreciated it more if you had used that N1000 to buy me a basket of 'agbalumo' or a set of white handkerchiefs, or even a notebook, or something useful, not some cheap ass perfume dat i cnt even give my housegirl cos even she sef has Ck, whether its fake or not i dont know.

Needless to say, i was very very disappointed.......

kai this blog is too long o, i will come back again soon to carry on ranting...

Friends like these:

2008-12-02T09:48:00.001+01:00

I come out of retirement (AGAIN) to do a snazzy type to talk about the great ppl i met thru blogging who have become more than friends, in no particular order:

Snazzy: i cant for the life of me remember how we started talking but i know someone sent someone as email, if u ask snazzy he;d probably say i sent him one first, but i stick to he sent me one first!! anyways we started sending emails back and forth, we talked about work and whatever, turns out we worked in the same industry! he was one damn cocky guy! very intelligent and he knows it and doesn't feel the need to pretend like he aint. lol. anyways so one day we sent each other pictures and yes he did think i was hot!! lol. we've become really good friends and even though i dont feel the need to call him all the time, he remains one of my most cocoky/intelligent/good guy friend. hell he even got me a job at some point until he got rid of me... lol i kid i kid.

Olawunmi: My lover!! lol, of course thats a joke, but Olawunmi is one of the sweetest guys i know, i met him when he came to lagos and he put a notice up on his blog saying he was coming to town and lag peeps should holla at him, yes i admit i sent this email first, and we started to email each other, when he got to lagos, we met up one evening at a wedding and he couldnt get over the fact that i was really that tall and pretty (very convenient that i was just coming back from d slaon. lol. so hair was on point) afer that point we talked a lot!! like a whole lot! lol. Olawunmi has seen me thru some seriously dark times including my *cough cough* rough time with PH, we would be on the phone for hours and hours just deliberating what to do, well most of the time, i cried cursed and he just listened. in fact PH did accuse me once of perhaps liking Olawunmi a lot more than i liked to admit. lol he once told me that i didnt know how much my friendship meant to him and that he'd let me know sometimes soon.. im still waiting.....

Uzo: Uzo was about to change jobs, she was leaving one industry into mine and wanted to ask me some questions, i was mor ethan willing to help this music encyclopedia!! lol so we started emailing back and forth. one night she called me and she needed my help, well for starters i was quite shocked and honoured that she called me? i mean lil me?? what did i know? i asked where she was she was at work, luckily it was round d corner from my office, i got there in 10mins or so and we just sat in the car and talked and talked u know like old friends, i dont get to se eher a lot and she did annoy me once, lol but still i think shes a gret girl, we've been planning to just hang out one weekend do d whole spa, food thing but she works crazy hours and so do i. go figure.

Kel: this girl is such a sweetie, i havent seen her in person but we chat online all d times, she hypes me up so much and makes me feel like one of the most intelligent people ever, she always always has a positive things to say!! be it a word of encouragement or something, we've been planning to do drinks for such a long time i think she has given up on me by now!

Tminx: *sigh* Tminx gave up on me a few mths ago, she has invited me to two birthdays and on both occasions something sha came up, i reckon she thinks im a nutter, but we have some mutual friend sin common and sometimes only sometimes o, i kind of envy her group of friends, u know like d sex and d city girls? they got their friendship on lock down, i know cos i see pictures on facebook! lol. and i have to send her an email so she can take pictures of me, she is so so so talented its crazy!!!!

Nonesuch: this womans name should be put next to patience and perseverance in d dictionray, if thers anything ive learnt from her its that, she just never seems to get angry or upset, there r certaint hings she tells me and im thinking huh? and u r still here talking to me? when u should be kciking ass?? and then she says no 36 u dont do things like dat! to which im thinking, u best believe i do things like that lol. we hung out a lot when we first me, i remember we even did xmas gift shopping together at the palms, we've had lunch together at terra culuture a lot of times and im just in awe of her sometimes.

to be continued.....

And again........

2008-09-20T01:46:00.001+01:00

I miss....

2008-06-25T20:23:00.002+01:00

okay yes i just vamoosed, i cant explain why, i dont even know why.

i miss blogging, i just havent had the energy or the will to even read or write a blog and i dont know why

i think im having qtr life crisis. LOL

so im still here, for anyone that cares to know, im just working through fixing me and then ill be back!!! lol.

stay safe guys.

My Dear Tosin...

2008-05-06T00:50:00.003+01:00

Today would have been your 27th birthday
i miss you, miss you like crazy
i think about you all the time,
i still dialled your number the other day
i know you are in a better place
but it doesnt make it any less difficult
i miss the way u knew the answers to everything
i miss how u were wise beyond ur years
i miss how you were there, how honest u were, sometimes u were so hoesnt it hurt but u know what i miss that, i miss that honesty we shared
i miss that razz english we used to speak, dondonian and i still try to do that
just last night i was tearing my hair out about 'A' and i just started crying, if u were here i would have called u and u would have known what to say
i miss how much you appreciate the little things i used to give you
i miss our lunch days at cactus
i miss u calling me 'ore mi'

i mean u and i define 'ore mi' u were/are my longest friend, if u were still here this year would have made it 23 years since we first met, i remember a few years ago when i was writing a reference for you and there was a question about how long ave u known this person an di put 20 years, the guy called me back and said did i mean to write 2 years i said no 20, he said but u r only uve barely gone past d age of 20 urself how can u have known someone for dat long, we both luaghed and said we r diaper friends mate.

Ur daughter is so gorgoeus and although it hurts that she wont growp up to see you, i will ensure i keep ur legacy on and ensure she knows how much of a wonderful woman her mother was/is. i will strive to be the best God Mother i can be, and although i have een slacking off a bit lately with seeing her due to work and all, i will make more of an effort from now on. even though u r gone, u live on in my heart and in the heart of MANY others who knew and loved you

I miss you....
R.I.P Tosin Fuja May 6 1981 - August 26 2007

I am allergic to Bullshit...

2008-04-09T09:22:00.002+01:00

ok i have just always wanted to use that title and it seems apt in this situation.

so d people who have followed my blog for a while or read my old posts will know that i am adopted and i dont particularly talk to my biological parents. BD (biological dad) i havent spoken to in about 4 years or so, and BM, well shes who this post is about.

my parents have a relationship with BD and BM and they make a fuss all the damn time about keeping in touch with them, in fact there have been times when my dad has sat me down in his room dialed BMs number and 'forced' me to talk to her. this has gone on for as long as i can remember, the thing is we just dont get along, we have nothing to talk about and my parents and i have fallen out over it a few times.

anyways sometime last year, i started to see why they were making such a fuss so i made an effort to call her once a quater (what? its an improvement from not calling at all na? free me jo) she always had one negative thing or the to say. during xmas someone (i think it might have been PH cant remember) asked me to go and visit her, i laughed, i dont bloody know where she lives!!! anyways i sent her a christmas hamper, some food stuffs , fabrics and some money, thru my mums driver. she called and said oh thank u how very thoughtfull, but what did u buy for ur mum i bet u spent more money on her abi? i just got off the phone promptyl.

anyways durng easter i had d urge to call her (i dont for the life of me know why) last time i spoke with her was on new years day. so i called, heart in my mouth, she answered:

36: hello?
BM: hello? yes? ta lon soro (who is speaking)
36: 36 lon soro ma, e ka le ma (good evening ma, its 36)
*silence*
36: hello?
*snif snif*
what the F*ck?
BM: a ma dupe, o pe mi leni? sha ranto pe emi ni iya e..... (thank God u called me today, just remember im ur mother)
i knew where this was going so i quickly cut her off.
36: e ma binu ma, mo busy gan pelu ise ni, in fact mo sese kuro ni ibise ni sin ni (im sorry ma, ive been so busy with work, in fact i just even left the office now)
BM: mo gbo o, sha mo pe, o le je nkan nkan without me, se oro pe iya e feran e ni, oju aye lon se! (i hear u, just know that u cant become anything in life without me, u thinkur mother loves u? its al just pretence)
36: okay ma, mo kan ni kin wo alafia yin ni... (okay ma, just tought to check on ur health)
she knew i was about to get off the phone
BM: a ma se iyawo ni odun yi o, aown ti won ti de e mo le pe o ni se iyawo ide wan ti ja, alfa ti mo lo ri to fin wan an mi (you must get married this year o, the ppl who cast a spell on u dat u wont get married have been discovered, the Alfa i went to see showed them to me)
36: e wo, ma pe yin pada, call kan fe wole (ill call u back, i have call waiting)
BM: ti a ban so oto oro fun e.... (when im telling u the truth..)
36;*click*

why o why did i forget the reasonf or not calling this woman? she is so full of shit its unbelievable!!!! and i Oluwa36, am allergice to such shit. capish?

whats all the noise now??

2008-03-26T11:37:00.005+01:00

so about a year ago i started to have a 'thing' for this car, i never really spoke about it it was just in my head u know, like i love this car i wonder if i can just close eyes and buy it, only problem was no matter how many times i closed my eyes i just couldnt bloody afford d car, i still cant, last i checked my father isnt babangida or dangote!!

so this year now, i got a better paying job, eye still refuse to close, i still cant afford this car, thats not d only problem though, u see ever since i started talking about buying a range na so so one kain eye everybody dey take look me:

'what do u mean u want to buy a range? is that ur way of saying that u dont want to get married? which man will ask u out driving a range ehn? abi iru omo wo le leyi?'

'u want to buy a range? *big sigh* just find a husband first sha'

'range? na wa for u this girl o, u r truly not well'

'range? where will u pack it? ur father will NEVER let u drive that car'

'range? ehn ehn? so u ppl want to b increasing profit for land rover shebi PH sef wants to buy LR3'

'range? range? this girl don crase finis, didnt u hear dat they stole tu-faces range'

'range? ur too young ot be driving such a car, just respect urself and go and buy avensis or something'

i could go on and on, i have heard all sorts, in fact i had my cousin ADO sit me down for over an hour to explain to me why buying a range 'at my age and status' is not such a bright idea, i mean i am amazed at the reactions, whats to say i cant buy a range (when i can afford one) because no man will talk to me? as in?? WTF?

i WILL buy a range before i turn 28, wethere or not i have a husband! yes i said it sue me!!

26 and counting.....

2008-03-10T07:27:00.003+01:00

Should have taken the day off work, but I have too much to do. I am now 26. Which is scary close to 28, which becomes very close to 30...

i think this is the first birthday ever that i havent wanted to do anything, nothing at all, i planned an all white party then cancelled it whne i got the bill, no it wasnt the money i just couldnt be bothered and no i am not wallowing in self pity i just feel like this should be a quite birthday.

having said that today i realise i am a miracle, otherwise how do i explain still being here. today i am grateful to God. You have seen my through deaths of friends, robberies, heartbreaks, name it, i have committed sin after sin after sin yet you still answer my prayers and still call me your own. what is there not to be grateful for.

Thank you Father!! heres hoping the next 26 years will be far better and more fulfiled than the last 26....

My dear friend O says he is dedicating a song to me on radio to me today, P-squares no one be like you. i only just listened to the lyrics yesterday and u know what i know what, really no one be like me!!!

WTF????

2008-03-03T17:41:00.003+01:00

If anybody knows this Lande girl. they should warn her o!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whats with taking about me on face book, does this heifer realise i can break her neck with just my middle finger?

i have said my own.

2008-02-22T09:57:00.002+01:00

Putting myself on full blast....

come o, wetin dey do blogger, why cant i type a title na? which kain thing be this. i have lots of stuff to blog about but the words arent coming, writers block? abi how dem dey talk am.

theres this one guy on my case, no not u from silverbird (u know who u r ) but one morrafucker who fell from d sky, i dont know where this guy came from but i really would just like him to return back to whereveer he surfaced from. dude calls me up at 2am to find out what i am doing:
*phone rings- 2.43am

Idiot: hello
36: *clears throat* hello
idioit: hello my darling
36: who is this?
Idiot: u mean u dont know my voice by now? ha ha
36: lose d shit, who is this?
Iidot: its me Idiot, how u dey? what u doing
36: *abi were ni bobo yi ni* what am i doing? at 2.46am on a tuesday morning? are u alright?
Idiot: some poeple sleep late, thought maybe u just might be thinking about me
36: guy lose my number. *click*

i dont know how they guy got my numer, how he knows my boyfriend and i just broke up, in fact the guy knows a lot about me and im wondering ni bo ni didrin yi ti ja wa? i digress.

so anyways i got this idea from Rayos blog and seein as i dont really know what to blog about, well here goes:

A chance to get to know the real 36. u can ask me any question, any question at all, and i will answer as honestly as possible.

u see why the title says putting myself on full blast? im not normal honesly.

2008-02-16T21:58:00.002+01:00

In All things give Thanks...

Happy new year guys. no i havent gone bonkers, i just realised that i havent actually done a happy post in a while, it feel slike the new year just started for me o. i dont usually make new year resolutions? but this year i made some:

1. dont sweat the small stuff
2. repay every act of wickedness with kindness
3. if u can change a situation change it, if not then dont bloody sweat it
4. get closer to God.

i feel like im a different person, a coupld of days ago, some okada dude ran into me, now the old 36 would have flown out of her car and landed the guy a dirty slap seeing as i was in a bad mood anyways, but instead, i rolled down, and the guess what came out of my mouth? nothing, i just let it go. sometimes i miss d old me, but i swear i just feel better about myself.

so, this means im back to bloggin, i will just moderate my comments, i promise you one thing though, i will publish all comments, the only reason why i havent taken off the moderation is so i can see/read the comments before one foolish anon will now put my real name, where i live where i work, probably put my fathers name sef, abeg dont kill the poor man yet, small time people will now say his own children didnt kill him, its one child he adopted that pai the man, make una no give me bad name abeg.

i have a new boyfriend!!!!

i kid i kid, im joking o, before anon will now start to call me domitila (prostitute), abeg, i no fit shout.

this post is so totally random innit?

2008-02-12T09:39:00.000+01:00

If one more person asks me what i am doing for valentines day

or sends me an email about the perfect valentines day gift

or ask me to help package a valentines day present for their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband

or ask me to order cake for them

or anything else about the 14th

i will comit murder....

i kid you not!!!!

Bye...

2008-01-25T15:43:00.000+01:00

ok so its my turn to take a hike from blogging.

ive enjoyed every single mintue ive been here but its just simply time to go.

ive always been as honest as possible on my blog and quite frankly ive never lied on my blog, but its quite tiring and irritating to have such comments that intend to make u feel less than you are. i dont need it and id ont have the tolerance for it.

id still leave comments on peoples blogs, but my time here is done.

will take down my posts in a few days when i have some spare time

in the mean time, im grateful for the friends ive made here, for the enemies as well. and of course the anons too.

God bless guys.

stay safe.

36 finally got answers albeit foolsih ones

2008-01-24T08:37:00.000+01:00

so i met up with 'him' last night, dont ask. dont ask.

u know how it is when u just have questions, u know u didnt do anything wrong but for the life of u just cant get ur head round what exactly happened. so my first question last night again was what exactly went wrong.

he goes okay, what went wrong, the thing is it all started for me at the hospital, remember that day u went out and all that stuff happened, (see here, read d end of the post) and i said i didnt believe you, well i felt really shitty and i just felt like it wa ssuch a fundamental issue and how can i be with someone i didnt believe what they were saying? so i felt maybe i was the problem and i needed to work on myself

u what? i dont believe this heffer, we talked about this nonsense on the day and we both had a clear undertsanding of what happeend, u even apologised and said too much had happened that week and u were wondering could it get any worse. i just started bawling yeah i know, im a bit of a cry baby, whatever) i mean it took this idiot 7 weeks to come up with an excuse and thats what he came up with? i mean come on.

did u pray about it?
*silence*
this dude is the biggest plonker i know, you wanted to make such a life changing decision and u didnt even pray about it? what sort of idiot is this guy? if that reallyw as the reason you wouldnt throw everything we had built away, u would have told me what the problem was we would have sat down to talk about it and we would have worked at it one day at a time, im sorry maybe its my way of thinking o, but i dont think this is a good enough reason to throw everything away. plus if u realy felt as though u were d problem u wouldnt go straight into another relationship so soon, how about dealing with ur issues first? not only dat if u indeed felt like u were the problem u would continue to work on your self and not take the risk of to quote you throwing 'ur life and hapiness away'

u didnt have issues trusting me when i wa sthere for you, putting your issues and problems before mine, waking up at 3am just to talk you to sleep, holding ur silly ass when u needed to cry, been there to just watch you sleep, oh no u didnt have issues trsuting me then, all of a sudden u feel whatever and then bam u have issues trsuting me. in my opinion you just saw a chance to run and you ran, only nothing was chasing you. u gave d devil a chance to come between us.

after i got home i called my Older friend A, and told her what the idiot said, she was so irritated and just said look 36 forget about this guy, he doesnt deserve you, he really isnt worth it, we talked for a bit and just started to laugh at the foolishness of this dude, i mean this is what 22 yr old guys do, not a grown ass 32 year old like u, get a grip man. i mean if u had even said u simply fell in love with somone else it might have been better, u even had d effontery to tell me it had nothing to do with lande.

you should officially win Idiot of the year. no other nominees required.

look this is not pride or being cocky or anything like that but i stand bold to say nobody, not one other person on the face of this earth could have loved you or cared about you as much as i did. and one day you will realise that.....

im at peace with myself now man, i got some answers albeit stupid ones...

hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-01-23T18:56:00.000+01:00

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. ~Gilda Radner

I miss 'him'

get over it missy. Gosh what is wrong with you!!!

'him'/daddy/OM

2008-01-18T08:31:00.000+01:00

PH is officially now known and refered to simply as 'Him' short of calling him an arsehole/cheat/lieing bastard etc etc, i cant think of any other appropriate name so its just going to be 'him' cos there is nothing potential or husbandy about his ass.

so today is the first day i havent cried in 6weeks, and i feel great, im getting there, i really am, i confess though that its only cos i finally decided in my mind yesterday to move on, i confess that a part of me was still holding on and hoping he would call and say hey baby i made a mistake im sorry, lets work this out, he did call to say hey im sorry ive been a jackass, but i didnt know what he was sorry for? for breaking my heart? trampling on it for good measure? lieing? painting me in a bad light to his friend? i didnt get it. but im not sweating it.

my dad and i had a long ass conversation yesterday, he hasnt been speaking to me since i told him i was moving back to london he called me a coward when i told him, he said u dont run away from your problems, u face them and u overcome them, i dint appreciate being called a coward. anyways yesterday sha, he said 36, u always say dont sweat the small stuff, so why r sweating this tiny stuff, i know it hurts but if a man cant see u for what you are then hes not worth crying over, listen u have a heart of gold and im not saying that just cos u r my daughter, u r beautiful inside and out, ppl tell u that all d time, didnt he tell u that too? if he has then decided that hes seen someone with a platinum heart and he wants to go there let him go, what usually happens to ppl like that is that they get there and realise what they thought was platinum was in fact costume when it starts to fade. he willc ome back, the question is if you will be available when he does......

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My dear friend OM is becoming a bit of a nuisance, i dont even know what to do with him, see OM and i went to Uni together, the last time i saw him was 6 maybe 7 years ago, he fancied me, i didnt i still dont, i digress, i bumped into a OM a couple of fridays ago at news cafe, i felt terribly alone that night, my sister had wandred off with her on/off boyfy, my friends too had gone off with 1 person or the otehr so i just in my car, thats when i saw him, we screamed hugged u know d usual and then tried to play catch up, i cant remember exactly what he said and i just burst into tears, even me i was rathr embarrased for myself, he just asked me who is he? i was like huh? he goes this has to beman issues now, okay lets talk about it, i poured my heart out and blah blah blah, ill blog in detail about him later, but in d 7 yrs i havent seen him hes been married divourced and about to get married again.

sha i said hes been abit of a nuisance cos he sent 'Him' an email to say basicaly u r a bit of a plonker. i didnt find it in the elast bit funny to be honest, whats that. 'Him' forwarded the mail to me and says nice words from ur friend 36, once again im sorry (again i didnt know what he was sorry about, ive never seen such a in fact im not going to insult him any longer before i come across as some maniac so and so).

OM said to me about a week ago, that i should start a diary, a proper diary, just write things down as u think about them, so last sunday i went to the beach, just me and my laptop and started to put my thoughts down, i thought id be able to post them here but i cant its been 5 days and im already on page 20. i really should write a book. another reeason why i cant even post it is cos i sound like a mad person!! i kid u not, i read all through from sunday again yesterday and just thought damn girl u got it bad!!

I deserve better than 'him'

im off to London tonight, can i ask, is something still a sin if uve asked God for forgiveness before doing it??? im scared.....

blank

2008-01-17T10:35:00.000+01:00

i feel empty
i feel broken
i thought i was fine but im not
im not even close.
im tired, physically, emotionally, and Mentally.

Fools Rush in

2008-01-12T19:03:00.001+01:00

*Another long post*

So Ph and i didnt work out as youve probably all figured out, actualy i might as well just be honest PH left me.

PH and i got together a few months ago, i had just ended my engagement with Lush and he had just split from his Partner. we were friends before so our relationship seems pretty straighforward there wasnt any of those ackward first date type things or the getting to know each other stage and certainly no pretence we knew each other well. we both tried to be as honest with each other as much as possible i remember a day about a month or so into our relationship when i broke downa nd just cried and cried and told hi i missed Lush, he just held me and said look babes emotions are not an ona nd off switch its only natural that u would stilll have feelings for Lush, its okay babe, I love you. we were that close.

anyways the week he was in hospital when all that madness happened, he said to me that he thought maybe we should take a break that he needed time to sort his head out, i said to him look babes i dont do breaks u r eithe rin this or you are not, break for what na? the next day when i saw him, he said he was sorry about the day before and that he couldnt possibly even take a break from me as he was way too dependent on me.

anyways on the 8th December last year, after we got home from playing tennis we sar down to talk:

PH: babes, ive been thinking a lot lately, im not sure i should be in a relationship right now, im confused and i feel like we ve been arguing so muh lately and im starting to take you for grante and i just think we should end things. I love you i really do, but maybe i am the one with the problem, i think i got into the right relationship too early.
36: (36 was speechless man, i was happy with this guy, i didnt even see a problem, what is he on about?) what r u talking about babes? whats so wrong? what exactly is the problem?

PH: *more and more nonsense comes out of his mouth*
36: Am i not worth fighting for?
PH:yes u r babes, i just cant fight for you right now.

5 or so hours after that i left his house, withh all d stuff i had there, and i kissed him for the last time, he held me just that 1 second longer and then he let me go, i was dumbfounded.
anyways about a week later i went to his house on sunday morning, i have no idea why i went there i was on my way to church next thing i knew i was at his door, he was sleeping, i just sat next to him and he woke up looked at me and said babe this is a pleasant surprise, we talked and he said, i miss you, i miss the girl i fell in love with, lets work this out, lets talka bout this later. i laughed cos in my head i was thinking if u did want to work this out we;d talking bout it now not later. i didnt say that though i was excited to work things out. four days after that at the airport on my way to Dubai, dude tells me he didnt think things would work out and we should just forget about it. this guy has gone bonkers, why is he blowing hot and cold??

anyways i saw him on the day i got back from Dubai, and we talked and somewhat agreed to go back to just being friends, something was different about him, this time when he was talking he said babe, i still like u very much' instead of the babe i really do love you he would norally have said. i talked to hima couple of times after that again to 'not throw our relationship away' as i thought we had a good thing going blah blha blah, sometimes it ended up in an arugument other times he would just apologise. i remember talking to his cousin who i was a bit close to and he said to me '36 move on,PH has moved on already, stop wasting ur time over this guy, u deserve better' i didnt get what the dude was on about but i let it go.

a few days ago i found out that PH had indeed moved on and he had a new girlfriend. im not proud of how i found out, but whatever,i had PHs password to his gmail account and i just happen to log into his account on the day he chose to tell one of his close friends about leaving me and about his new babe. i swear i almost died when i saw it. his new babe happened to be a girl that i had met before and we had argued about whilst we were dating. i just felt used. i swear CIA aint got nothing on me. u know gmail really is a bitch and i could see their conversatin as they were chatting, i have a copy saved somehwere. anyways at the same time they were chatting i sent an email on facebook to this his friend, lets call him Ola.

36 to Ola: hey Ola, na wa o, thanks fot not asking after me, Happy new year anyways, hope all ur dreams come true this year. shey ur wedding is this year abi??

a few mins later Ola send a message to PH saying 36 just sent me a message saying happy new year, im going to pretend i dont know anything. (LOL!!!!!!)

Ola to 36: 36, Happy new year hope all ur dreams come true, yes o wedding is this year.

36 to Ola: Lol is this an attempt at pretending that u dont know that ur friend left me? if it is nice try, i hope hes happy with Landelol. dont worry im okay now, he could have at least been man enough to tell me the truth though rather than giving me the lame excuse of him being confused, shame things didnt work out btwn us though, i lreally did love him and im sure he knows that, but ah well, i guess we just werent meant to be, thanks for supporting us in d beginning though, it was really nice to have met you, was looking 4ward to seeing u at ur wedding in Australia but guess ud be seeing Lande instead. lol. and i suppose u will support her more since u guys go way back!!! ( PH, Ola and Lande used to work together) have fun.

Ola to 36: you guys broke up???? get out?? is this a wind up?

i sent him one long email that started with quit pretending it doesnt suit u.

i sent PH a text. "news travels fast, especially ones u try to hide or deny" and then i called him

36: Hello PH how r u?
PH: fine babes and u?
36: Hows work?
PH: Great
36: Hows Lande?
PH: shes doing good. (the idiot)
36: U know u really should know that news travels fast why didnt u just tell me about Lande?
PH: Babes whats there to tell, u asked me about this girl two months ago, i told u nothign was happening between us and that hasnt changed, nothings going on. i intentionaly answered that she was fine when u asked. i got ur text and knew what u were talking about, nothings going on (Na die, why is he lieing?)
36: Ah come on, i know what i know and u know what i know, so quit this lie
PH: whatever rocks ur boat babes. (whatever rocks my boat?? thunder fire u. lol)
conversation went on and on and then we ended it.

Next day.
im online just chatting with friends, think i started chatting with him as well. i was still logged on to his gmail o. his babe comes online:

PH: where u been?
Lande: I love you.....

i swear i had to laugh!! u guys love each other already!!!!! damn. lol.

PH sends me a message.
PH: 36 im highly dissapointed, how could u have gone through my gmail account (damn hes caught me)
36: What r u talking about?
PH: Dont even pretend like u dont know what im saying.

i called him. we spoke a while i called him a coward, and after i got off the phone with him i sent hima text for good measure saying u ve just been caught out like a deer, u should be ashamed, ashamed of ur lies and juvenile behaviour. i was hurt sha i cant lie o.

so thats it. PH and i are done, which is really a shame cos we got on great. the irony of it all, is if he had said to me on that saturday we split up that look babes, i have feelings for this girl an im confused about it, i probably would have said to him okay lets take a step back and maybe take a break, my friendship with him was more important to me to be honest. since all of this ive been tempted to curse him but i havent, im bigger than that, i leave God to fight my battles. i just hope that for his own sake he doesnt leave Lande to cos she looks like the kind of babe who would have him seriosuly dealt with!! lol. thats his shit to deal with. im okay now guys, im moving back to London in March (yeah whatever, call it running away if u like) i found a nice apartment in West London that would be vacant 1st week in March and im sure ill get a good job at some point too. Im also in London next weekend to sort out some nonsense!! i cant even blog about that!!! oh and of course PH promptrly changed his password after that LOL.

yes i miss him, yes i wish things were different, yes i wish this was all some kind of dream but its not, this is my reality man.

this time around 36 NEEDS to be single and enjoy being single!!! lol.

On the brink of insanity.....

2008-01-07T14:22:00.000+01:00

i woke up on a friday mornign at 5am, i just about made it to work about 5mins to 8. i dahsed to my deak, 1million unread emails, phone ringin off the hook, ah well welcome to my world.

my boss told me a day before i had a meeting in Abuja first thing on saturday morning and he had a surprise for me on friday afternoon, so i had packed my bags, i was to leave the office at 1pm. Great!! i have only 5 hours to do what would normally take 13 hours to do,

at 1pm my boss came to drag me off my seat, he said 'his friend'' was going to take me to the airport, but first he had to blindfold me for the surprise, u what?

i was blindfolded and he took me downstairs, he asked me to get into the car and to just trust him, 'his friend' was going to take me to the location of the surprise and then to the airport.

36, u r family, i wouldnt hurt you.

ok i said.

as i sat in the car it felt oddly familiar and the person driving smelt familiar too, but i just switched my mind off, put on my ipod and drifted away. this dman surprise better be good otherwise im going to have Gees head on a plate!!!

we drove for what seemed like forever, and then we stopped. i was still blindfolded but the place smelt familiar too, im losing it.

the 'familiar smelling guy' came to lead me out of the car, his touch felt faimliar too, oh quit this familiar thing 36.

he led me to what seemed like a room and then took off my blindfold, it took a while for my eyes to adjust to the light then i saw 'him'

he started to talk, it then occured to me i couldnt hear a thing he was aying, i took off my earphones.

it was PH.

babe, i know ive hurt you and im sorry, i knew if i asked u to come here with me u would have said no and i needed to ask u a very important question and i thought where better than where it all started from,

it was then i realised he had brought me to the resort where we started dating. oh dear.

i was looking around and didnt realise he was on one knee and holidng a box. ah hell no!!!!

36 u mean so much to me, and id be foolish to let you go, what r u doing the rest of your life? will you spend it with me.

NO

babe, im sorry, i didnt mean to hurt you but...

*knock knock* someone was at the door.

36 are u okay?

huh? it was my dad, whats my dad doing here, oh hang on, im in my room, shit this was all a dream. damn u daddy. lol

oh dear, i Love this guy beyond reasoning and you know what they say about loving someone that much? yep u got it, u gonna get ur heart shattered into tiny pieces. oh Lord.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

the past 11 months or so have been really really trying to for me, ive had so much happen to me, u name it robbery, death, heartbreak, all sorts and now its getting to me, i feel like ive had enough, i feel like i should just leave all my problems behind and move (read that as run away).

i want to go somewhere where no one knows me, India, Dubai, Marakesh, i dont even care wherever and just live. it seems like my 'living formular' hasnt worked, in the sense that all i seem to get is just grief and more grief, so maybe its time to try something new, iw ant to do all those things i never had the guts to do.

i want to smoke

i want to drink

i want to have one night stands

i want to get pregnant, have an abortiona d have sex d same day

i want to have a child for a guy i barely know

i want to have sex for money

i want to sleep with a 50 year old man

i want to sleep with a woman

i want to have no care in the world

people who live life like this seem to have all the fun, maybe its time for me to have a bit of fun too and stop being the person that i am. i really am losing it i swear. Life is short they say, ive had one too many near death experiences lately, the last one being on the 5th of January this year, i was held at gunpoint with two options, option A: be raped. option B: be killed, i chose option B, thankfully neither happened, i decided not to blog in too much detail about it as it involves other people who werent as lucky as i was, so u see i really am tired of all this.

Happy new year folks, hope this year brings many blessings and all ur hearts desires coem true!!

The Land is green....

2007-12-27T11:42:00.000+01:00

i got back from Dubai yesterday, i had never been so happy to see Murtala Mohammed International airport, damn i was/am happy to be back!!!

so as u'v probably all figured out, i went to Dubai on my own!! PH couldnt come as he couldnt get time off work, i thought i was a workaholic but dude takes it to a whole new level! anyways at first i wanted to just cancel the trip but that would be half a million naira down the drain, so i thought u know what im just gonna go on my own!!

before i go into my Dubai gist, a lot of people got my last post wrong, im not desperate to get married, quite the opposite, and i dont feel incomplete because i dont have a man in my life, also quite the opposite, getting sperminated is not out of desperation, its more out of marriage isnt everything, u know what, im just gonna leave it at that.

i got to Dubai on the 20th, my hotel was somewhere in Bur Dubai, quite nice, very busy road though, but then again everywhere in Dubai is busy no?

i had so much i wanted to blog about, but now the words r not coming, anyways Dubai was fun but boring as well, i think it was a psychological thing, i couldnt do any of the tourist thing cos well i just couldnt so i did other things like shopping and eer shopping. if u have a weakness for shoes and wrist watches dubai is not a place to go to o, in fact at first i was upset PH didnt come but after i let loose at the shoe shops? damn i was happy he wasnt there cos u know how it is now, how do you explain buying all those shoes????

went to the emirates mall, that place is HUGE!!!

3 days after i got to Dubai, i ended up in hospital, i had food poisoning, think i ate something called chicken briyani or something like that, its weird cos i NEVER experiment with food, if ive never eaten it before i dont touch it, so i dont know what made me eat this one, i supose i just thought i couldnt go wrong with chicken na, anyways i ended up in hospital, 6hours and $200 after i was back at the hotel.

Christmas day was the worst i ever had in my life, i spent it alone, in my hotel room just crying. ive never been alone on xmas day before, always spent the day with my family or friends so i dont know what in Gods name prompted me to go and spend it in some foreign land, and d fact that i had food posioning didnt help!!! i felt so alone!!

so many things are going on in my life right now that i have more and more reasons to just be grateful to God, i start my new job in January, im quite excited!!!!!!!! this is a rather shit post, i dont think ive written anything crappier, my minds just not functioning today and i feel a strong desire to post so here it is.

PH is fine, in case u were wondering...

Random Sh*t

2007-12-14T11:28:00.000+01:00

Okay so 36 is here, i have so much to say but i cant find the words. but sha, i quit my job 2 weeks ago, yeah i know how random right, or rather as someone said how totally gangster!!! as at the time i quit my job i had one job offer at some investment bank here, the money was temtpting but the Job description didnt particularly trip me, so i just kept posting them.

anyways so i had been wanting to quit for a while it think since May or so one of the reasons why i stayed on for this long was cos when my boss left in April and CMF became the head, i felt i needed to support him in his new role, at the time i was the only senior member of the team left, and i still actually enojyed my job at that point, but a few mths after i just got BORED!!! so in October when CMF left (oh i forgot to blog about that, yeah he left, got a better offer) it got even worse for me, so i decided i was gonna quit in December with or without another job offer, worse case i go siddon for house dey chop my papa money no?

anyways i digress, so i quit 2 tuesdays ago. I got an offer on friday,( wo anon that is always harassin me about my job and millions now would be a good time to stop readin o!!!!), it seemed almost too good to be true, i start in January, Job description is on point, Training is gonna be mad, the pay is like WAO!!!!, not its not millions its Milllllllllliiiiiioooooonnnssss. im excited....

So im taking my behind to Dubai on wednesday d 19th, should be back towards d end of the year, its time to go and reflect, make decisions for d new year and that sort of thing, two things could happen on this trip:

1: i could go and have a good time, and come back the same, same woman with her heart on her sleeves willing to love another selflesly, willing to fall insanely in love and not think about what could go wrong, willing to just be me.

OR
2: I could go have a good time, and come back with a heart of stone, and not have d patience/tolerance to deal with any man. not be able to express how i feel about someone openly for fear of my heart been trampled upon, u get d picture.

as i sit here typing i strongly feel its going to be number 2, i sat in my room last night and thought about myself in 5 years, d picture i saw was scary, i saw myself sitting in a rather large office, my name was on the door, and it said 'chief investment officer' or something like that, i was powerful, i had crazy money, i had a range rover, i had everything BUT i was single!!! Lol. i fear id be one of those women and it used to botehr me a lot before, but yesterday i smiled, it didnt seem like such a big deal.

wo, i said this was random things abi, so pls pardon me if this doesnt make sense, so cos of this 'small vision' that i had yesterday ehn i ahve now decided that if by the time i turn 26 (which is in 3 months) and im not in a 'serious' relationship, i will start looking for someone to sperminate me, by sperminate i mean get me pregnant (although who will want to sperminate this psycho i dont know but whatever i iwll find one that i know for sure) so i will be pregnant next year and i will permanently cross marriage off my list!!!!! sue me, i said it.

on another totaly random thing, i met a woman yesterday that just left my jaw on d floor, she left her husband of 13mths, months not years o!!! she moved out three months ago cos he would hit her for any and any reason,she says she didnt see dat side of him when they were dating, anyways shes now dating a new guy and getting married next year, i was dizzy just hearing her story!!! i wish her luck o!!!!

not sure id blog again before i go on my soul searching trip to Dubai, so in case i dont, Merry xmas guys, have fun and be safe!!!

Slow Tears...

2007-12-10T08:47:00.000+01:00

I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into your eyes
Hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek...

*Fairytales dont always have a happy endng*

Extraordinary week..

2007-12-03T09:36:00.000+01:00

*sorry another extra long post*

On thursday the 22nd of November i had my weekend all planned out, PH and i plus a few friends were going out on friday night, u know the usual, news cafe, Lacasa moves, saturday PHs friend E was getting married so we had to at least 'show face' then sunday we had our usual Lunch at whereever, anyways so i packed my bags, for the weekend.

On friday morning i started to feel a bit wonky, just tired and weak, thought maybe i had malaria, PH called from the office too and goes hey babes, i think i might have malaria, im not up for tonight o, im like u know what same here, lets just got home watch a movie and take it easy. so friday night we went home, gave PH some food and some anti malaria and then just sat down to watch smallville or something, think i must have dozed off or something, anyways what i remember is being woken up at about 2am by PH

PH: My stomach aches badly
36: Do u want to go to the loo
PH:no its not that kind of pain its really uncomfortable
36: Pele (*rubbing back and trying to stay awake i was so tired taht friday night all i wanted to do was sleep.) Pele. try and get some sleep, lie on ur stomach, it should get better
*an hour later*
PH; ha babes its not gettng any better o
anyways thats what we did all thru the night o, at 5.20am he goes babes i need u to take me to the hospital, i cant take this anymore (PH no dey use hospital play, any small thing na hospital straight, if na me, i go just use buscopan go sleep lol)
anyways so i took him to the hosiptal, doctor examines him, he says he doenst know whats wrong, gives him buscopan and paracetamol and tells him to go home, ok so we went back home. took the buscopan and 2mins later, PH throws it all up, this pain aint going nowhere, so its back to the hospital again. the doc still doesnt know whats wrong, i thought it was food poisoning? anyways the doc gives hima n injection, painkillers i think and sends us home again, think its about 9am or so at this time. we went back home, PH sleeps for about 30mins and wakes up in even more excruciating pains, wahala. oya back to the hospital. this time the Doc goes u knwo what u need to go and do a scan, see whats going on in there. we went in for a scan and the guy goes tehres some small irritation around ur apendix or something, sha we go back to the hospital with the scan result, Doctor says he has to call a surgeon to come and examine PH in the meantime hes admitted and put on drips. *im so tired by now* its 11am. ive hardly slept.

The surgeon turns up at 10.30pm!!!!! (morafucker oshi) anyways the guys examines PH and says u have apendicities we need to operate soon, the other option is to give u antibiotics to treat it and we can wait a week and then operate.
we decided to do the surgery the next day (sunday) anyways i ended up sleeping at the hospital with him. about 3am. we both woke up, me cos the bed was rather uncomfortable him cos of the bed and cos his drip had well stopped driping, called the nurse in and all was well (please note the time) sha we went back to sleep, surgery was meant to happen in a few hours so we had to be calm abi?

Sunday morning;
36: im going to go to an ATM to get some money (u know how naija hospitals are, u dont pay, u odnt get anything done) then id stop by at the house and get u some clothes
PH: thanks babes, dont be long o!!
36: see u soon.

went to the ATM and the got to the house. it took ages for the gate to be opened was thinking what the hell? anyways grabbed the keys to his bedroom and walked into the house, the houseboy starts walking towards me with one look like that in his face.

HB: Good morning ma
36: Morning how r u?
i get to PHs bedroom and realised that there is no door, i looked in and the place is upside down???
36: whats this? what happened?
HB: Armed robbers came to the house yesterday, Mummy said u should not tell Uncle PH o.
36: Jesus. ye, mo daran. i ran back into the living rom to see what was missing, everything was there. (to b honest what i really wen tot look for was the plasma, its barely 2mths old, anything else but that lol) anyways i was just speechless. did a quick survey of the room missing things:

His laptop
My laptop
His wrist watches were gone
Perfumes
ALL my jewelry plus my mothers gold sef (remember we were meant to go for a wedding that day?)
my new Gucci wrist watch (i got it the day before, i handt even worn it bloddy bastards)
my camera
the whole place was just a mess, i just smiled, i couldnt even cry. just picked up some clothes for PH and left. by the time i got back to the hospital, his mum and cousin were there already (his mum started to wink at me as soon as i walked in, obviosuly trying to say dont tell him anything, i just smiled and walked on and kept quiet, i didnt even know if i wanted to cry scream or what, sometime in d future i will tell his mum that she did a bad job at telling me to keep quite, i mean that wink was oh so obvious, lol, but i cant tell her now can i. lol)

his mum and cousin left shortly after to go to the police station o report the whatever.

i just sat there.
PH: whats wrong? whys everyone acting funny?
36: nothings wrong sweets.
PH: dont lie to me.
36: *oya thins up something now* whos Lande?
PH: who?
36: shes been txting anf calling u like crazy since yesterday, me i dont like this one o
PH: 36, ive told u before, u dont trust me do u
36: dont swing that trust thing on me thats not the point
PH: u r unbelievable
36: *oh dear.....*

at least i got him off my back for a few mins to think. its okay let himt hink its co si dont turst him for now, when i went back into the room, i swear my heart sank, he just looked hearbroken and i felt bad.

36: Sweets, im sorry okay, theres something i need to tell u
PH: what (giving me attitude? my friend lose d attitude jo)
36: i dont want u to worry about it. its really bot that bad, im not supposed to tell u and i dont know why i am
PH: whats wrong babes (lol, the attiutude is gone)
36: something happened at the house last night, eer ehm, it, ehm
PH: speak now
36: the house was robbed
PH: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
36: its not that bad, they didnt take major stuff, just petty things, u know wrist watches, perfume , my jewlery that sort of thing
PH: But...
36: actually two major things, our laptops!
PH: aww men, just what i need, pls tell me u r joking
i cant remember what else i said but a few mins later we were laughing about it, and wonderng what would have happneed if we handt been at the hospital? wold he have been injured or God forbid killed? would i have been raped? killed if i told them to piss off?? God is good!!

PHs surgery was succesful, his apendix ruptured just before they took it out, any min later and he would have been six feet under. Thank God for his mercies!!!!!! im not even going to go into details about how PH nealry choked to death in the theartre.

Just after PH came out of surgery, my friend Ed called me, see Ed had my car for the weekend as he had stuff to do. he goes listen 36 ud never guess what just happened, some stole the side mirrors of ur car where i parked it.

ha ha God whats going on now, is it just me? dont worry about it Ed it is well.
told PH we laughed about it again

PH: when things happen at the same time like this it means there r big blessings coming along okay babes? so dont worry, whats important is that everyone is okay.
36: i guess (ha me i dont undertsand all this o, these blessings better be big lol)

Monday:
turns out i now have full blown ulcer. seeing as i hardly ate or slept over the weekend im really not that surprised. couldnt even go to work was so so tired so i just stayed at the hospital as well. plus i still felt like i had small malaria

Tuesday:
same thing

Wednesday:
i had my final interview at some firm today, i was tempted to cancel but i just thought let me just go, PH also encouraged me to go, i was feeling a bit better anyways, so i got into PHs car and made my way towards Victoria Island, all i remember is singing to some cece &bebe winans i just heard metal crunching, i realised the car wasnt moving. guess what had happened??? A truck had run into me!!1 the truct driver flies out of his truck:

TD: E ma binu, brake e lo fail (im really sorry ma, the brake failed)
36: ........... (im still sitting in the car, in front of a truck with a failed brake)
it took me about 2mins before i realised that i could actually still be crushed just sitting in d car so i got out. took my phone and called PH.
PH: what the hell is going on, whats wll the nouse
36: im tired babes, tired, whats all this? ha ha? who did i offend now?
PH: just calm down, can d car still move
36: yeah, its just the back that is gone (by this time there r police officers on d scene)
PH: just get into d car and go okay.
36: Ok

i turned to d taxi driver, omo u r so going to pay for this damage, i dont care if u have to sell everything u have, u will pay for it.
TD: ha e jo ma, e sanu mi (please ma , have mercy on me)

*phone rings*
PH: r u still there, i said u should leave now.
36: i hear u, im leaving now.

i left!!!! u would think that would be d end abi??? not quite.

i got into the car and just got confused and started to cry, that was d first time i had cried since the one thing started, everything just got to me. anyways as i was driving along, on awolowo road, i see a police truck driving towards me, oh no these guys r going to run into me, then they start shooting? WHAT!!! i see a man drop beside my car? shit is he dead.
im just sitting in d car,frozen. i text PH.

the shooting stopped. and the police officers came to see d dead guy beside my car,who they claimed was one of the armed robbers they were chasing? i didnt see no arms but whatever. then one of the police officers goes:

PO: This is one of the cars o, come and see d back
36: it took more than a second to register? u what?
PO: information given to us says that one of the cars d robbers had, has been bashed at the back, and this fits the description, oh okay,una think say u smart, say if na woman wey drive d car we no go think say she be thief, my friend come down, give me ur phone.
36: do i look like..... i didnt even bother. another officer comes over think a senior one (by this time we r off d road and on some side road)

SPO: young lady whats ur name
36: 36 Brown
SPO: are u one of the robbers
36: No, if i was turst me i wouldnt be wearing a suit in this bloody weather
SPO: what do u do, where r u going
36: Investmentn manager, im going to Sanusi fafunwa
SPO: where do u work? can i see ur id.
36: i work with xyz ltd, i dont have my id card here (it had been stolen at PHs on d saturday) but i have a complimentary card
SPO: bring it, where is ur drivers liscence
36: here.
SPO: im going to call this number to confirm that u work there, what happened to ur car.
36: A truck ran into me this morning.
SPO: but the papers of the car is not in ur name, is it ur husbands car
36: Yes ( i couldnt even be bothered to argue with him)
SPO: give me his number,
36: 0802 xxx xxxx
its switched off.
SPO: im coming, wait here
Five mins later
SPO: take u can go.
36: can i have my phone.
PO: take

now i was just on overdirve, i had 10mins to get to my interview and i didnt want to think about the fact that i just nearly got killed. i just about made it, well i was five mins late, in fact i even broke down at the interview, it was just overwhelming, they gys aske dme if i wanted to reshcedule, i said no, lets carry on. by this time my phone is ringing off teh hook, PH is trying to reach me, i cant answer.

half an hour later i was done. i had 10 missed calls 7 from PH, 3 from a strange number i called d strange number back after i spoke with ph

36: Good morning, someone tried to call me from this number?
Man: yes is this Ms Brown?
36: yes this is she, how can i help u
Man: My name is Musa from Last bank,i wanted to confirm if u issued a cheque to one Mr salami. chq number 0000029
36: Mr who?? i dont know anyone by that name. hold on let me check my cheque book. )turns out the robbers had torn my cheque book in d middle and it made sense why they took my id card, my signature was on it) Musa, i didnt issue a cheque to any Salami, pls hold d guy, im on my way to ur bracnh now
Musa: hold on
Musa: the man ran away o!!!!! ye ha o, u should have answered u phone on time i would have arrested him, but he left his international passport please come.

im goign to end this post here, its way too long!!! but Thank God im okay, its been a crazy week!!!! oh and by the way PH didnt believe my being mistaken for a robber story, to b honest if it handt happened to me and someone else had told me i possibly wouldnt have believed them. but we r good!!!

Im grateful to be alive!!!

30 Days of Thankfulness

2007-11-16T15:11:00.000+01:00

i have been tagged by Bimbylads...

where do i even begin, its been a really bad day for me today, in fact its been this way for a few days now, PH and i are having issues already!!!1 its only been 5mins? anyways so when i saw this tag from bimby i thought oh no not today, but it then occured to me that i couldnt just be thankful when things are going great i had to be thankful all the time so here goes::

Father, uve been so so good to me, even in times when ive doubted you, uve love dme unconditionaly and waited for me to return in times when ive turned my back to you and not acknowledged you, for this im grateful.

Father im grateful for Being alive…this is easy to take for granted. After all the deaths ive witnessed lately I am really happy that today, dispite the pain I am truly grateful just to be alive.

Thankful for my parents and my siblings.

Thankful for my Best friend.. I dont know if i can still say you are my best friend, i really dont know, but im thankful for you, for your life, your job.

Thankful for My Friends.. too numeorus to mention but are unbelievably supportive no matter how big a mess i am, u mean much more to me than ud even know and i apprecite u. Ed uve been the best these last few days, i really dont know what id do without you. thank u.

For my job that im good at and i enjoy and keeps me comfortable by paying me Millions of Naira every year, God im grateful cos i know millions of people that will do my job for half the pay.

Thankful for My health..

Grateful for PH, for the little time we've spent together, if this doesnt work out, i know we probably cant go back to being friends, but all the same i love every second i spend with you and in spite of these last few days, i still think.... oh im just thankfull for you.

A grateful heart is one who's lived through trials along the ay then found the strenght to look ahead and face a brand new day. A garetful heart is one who knows that sorro does not last and morning brings a ray of hope to chase away the past. A grateful heart will alays be much stronger than the rest for they have weathered every storm and conquered every test. Lord I am grateful...

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Oluwa36 is grateful.....

I tag Uzo Daddys girl and Princessa

Trip to PH, no not that PH, Port Hacourt.

2007-11-13T18:22:00.001+01:00

im so over Toyosi..... LOL.
*Warning: Extra Long post*

So i had reason to go to Port Harcourt on Wednesday 31st October for a thursday meeting. this meeting was meant to have taken place at 7am on thursday morning in Victoria Island, however i got a call saying the meeting had been moved to Port Hacourt, kai my heart skipped, fear catch me o. i cant even lie, last time i went to Port, i must have been about 11 or so and it was with my mum and siblings, anyways children of God do not fear abi? so i called Arik air.

36: last flight wednesday evening to Port please.
lady: that would be the 5 ocklock flight, and its N25,000
36: Return?
Lady: No one way ma'm

i nearly had heart failure 25 kini? is it not Port Hacourt down there? is Abuja not 10k sef?? i thought maybe the babe didnt know what she was talking about jare, so i said ok ill call u back. so went on to virginnigeria.com omo wetin i see virgin sef na like 26k one way. na wa o. so i called Arik back seeing as they were d only ones who had a late flight (Virgins last flight was at 2pm or so) so i paid N25,000. the thing chook me o!!! cos i all i need do is add an extra 10k and i would have taken my ass to Ghana return o!!! anyways so on Wednesday afternoon PH dropped me off at the airport. it was a 5.00pm flight and my ticket said boarding starts an hour before take off and closes half an hour before, shey me im a good and punctual somebody abi? PH drops me off at 4.05pm. i got to the check in counter:

lady: would u like to check your bag in
36 (*for where? make una come thief my underwear abi) No thanks, ill carry it on board.
Lady: Okay ma no problem, heres ur boarding pass, please wait for the announcement to board, u have seat 5c.
36: Thank you. (hmn seat 5c ehn? doesnt sound bad at all)

sha i walk thru to the metal detector thingy and they nearly naked me for there o!!! take off ur belt, chain, shoes, i asked the guy do u just want me to get naked? he goes well??? Asshole!! after seating down sha, a few mins later i hear a barely audible voice saying Arik air to port hacourt now boarding
*shuo?? i am impressed, its 4.30

so i got to the other lounge and hand over my boarding pass:

Lady: sorry, its not yet time for your flight, the flight boarding now is the 3.55pm flight.
36: oh okay. thanks. (i knew it was too damn good to be true)

anyways i took my long legs and went to seat down. Ipod on. just chilling.

* ha ha why is this man looking at me now? i carry shit for bodi ni? haba if u will look at a babe at least do it with syle now. comot eye abeg)
i got so bored. anyways i started people watching

*group of 4 girls, young, well dressed, hmn i wonder if they r aristo babes? dat ones looks her yansh has been donw over a few times jare (leave me abeg, i was bored now, so i was just thinking)

chineke me!!! wetin be dis? saw this woman right, she was HHuuuuuggggeee, big ass and all. thats not even what killed me o, the woman had on a skirt and shirt right? and then she had a jumper and wait for it a puffer jacket slung on her shoulder, i couldnt help it o, i just burst into laughter, what? did someone forget to warn me that its -0 degress in Port Hacourt???

i was laughing so hard, everyone must have thought i was mad. it was bloody hillarious. anyways at about 5.10pm they call us to come and bored sha, then we get into that thingy, u know the hallway like thingy u walk thru to get on the plane? dont know what its called but im sure u guys get it, and we r walking o, small time i see stairs leading to the bloody tarmac???? What?? it was so funny? must we always form/pose? haba, is it that the pilot (nearly said plane driver there o lol) didnt know exactly how to manouvere the damn plane to the stairs thingy?? anyways we get on the plane and i see this gorgeous guy (the air host), the guy is starring at my legs probably wondering where they stop pr maybe he was wondering what he could possibly do with them ashawo oshi, anyways he opens his mouth and i think what the fuck?? his accent sounds like hes from iraq or something. anyways he shows me to my seat. the aisle on that damn plane is so so fucking tiny i could barely get my bag thru. i get to my seat and try to put my bag in the overhead locker, for where?? the thing no enter o! so sha i put it under d seat in front and seat down. damn these seats arent meant for tall people at all o!!!i was just cursing!! so seat belt fastened, my mind drifts off... till

host: there r 4 emergency exits on this plane...

emergency exits?? i better listen o. who knows. God forboid bad thing.

the guy goes on and on and then he says thank you for listening. i laugh, no one was bloody listening to u mate, hell no one could hear you!!

so d engine starts and thats when i looked out of the window. Jesu o!!!!!! i was sitting right next to the fan like thingy, u know the one in front of the wing of the plane? shit. if this plane were to crash, (God forbid) its not teh crash that would kill me its dis dman thing that would slice me up like a damn salami!! Chai.

Father lord i ask for forgivness, for all my sins the ones i committed knowingly and the ones unknowingly, i prayed o!! then d plane started to move a bit, then it stopped, i dont know if the engine went off but i half expected them to call us to come and push start the damn thing. we sha finally took off for 545pm. i was so scared!! i was just casting and binding all thru the journey. the dman plane sounded like a bloody moule/danfo, it was so loud? and the noise didnt stop o, i thought i was gonna go deaf, so much for this heffers saying their planes were 'tear rubber' (brand new) the leather seats gan was already ripping apart, shuo, either dis ppl r bloody liars or nigierans yansh just not made for this kain leather. anyways we get in d air sha and i tried to take my mind off my fear so i start to write this post, i look out of the window and lagos just looked so gorgeous from the sky ( i know better jare) at about 6.10 the host (remember d gorgeous guy) anyways so he came by with food,
i nearly choked with laughter when i opened the pack, one meatpie, one pack of plantain chips, small five alive. is this all you guys can give me? after paying 25gees?? na wa o. 5mins later the guy is bak to clear up, ha ha give me a chance to eat this nonsense u put in front of me now, he wants to take away my untouched pack, i let him take it, i dont eat crap and maybe he needs to save it for the next flight. anyways i carried on typing this post, i see fasten seatlbelt and then come and see serious turbulence, chai, my heart was in my mouth i intensified prayers o, d pilot was talking, i couldnt hear a damn thing he was saying, all i heard was Thank u, for all i know he could have said we are now about to crash thank u for making Arik air ur last resting place or something. chai i don suffer, i sha carried on praying, then i started writing this post again, wondering if id even get a chance to post it sef. anyways i hear the pilots voice again, this time i listen hard o:

ladies and gentlemen we r now descending into Port Hacourt,
*Ha Father Lord U are wonderfull.
a few mins later the pilot comes on again:
Unfortunately we are unable to land in port hacourt due to bad weather, as suuch we r on our way back to lagos!! i swear my heart sank!! u mean after casting and binding all the way hear i no go reach this port hacourt? i was upset, but at least grateful that the pilot didnt attempt to do by force landing shebii thats what crashed the last was it bellviiew or sosoliso plane?? anyways we get back to lagos about 7.05pm and get off the plane unto d tarmac again, and begin d long walk to the arrival, we r directed to Ariks counter and we had 2 options either get re-booked on the 7am flight the next day or get a refund.so i called my ppl in Port to let them know i couldnt make it so they go lets reschedule the meeting for friday (thats just great, u mean im gonna have to go thru this shit again?) anyways so i go to get a refund, then called PH:

PH: Hey baby, called ur phone about 10mins ago, was still switched off, r u in Port now, did u get to d hotel okay?
36:no such luck mate, im at murtala mohammed aiport (in Lagos) we couldnt land, blah blha, please can u pick me up
PH: ok beautiful, im on my way, pele.
*hes such a darling*
went to Phs house, had dinner an dthen took my ass to my fathers house. the journey begins again tomorrow.......

Day 2, Thursday:
this post is long already, next day sha, PH goes abeg just take the first flight so that u dont risk the 'bad weather landing' business again. i say okay, i left my house at 9am, PH wasnt available to take me to the airport so i asked one of the househelps to go look for a cab for me, sha d cab man said airport is 1200, for where abge comot, is it because im speaking phonetics with you? oga abeg answer me, 1200 for wetin, no be airport for there. we sha argued argued sha, and settled at 700. i got in, a newspaper vendor strols past, and i see that disgrace of a woman Etteh on the front page saying she had resigned or somethng:

Taxi Driver: wetin u think my daughter, u b woman now, dis woman suppose don resign since
36: yes sir, the woman no get shame at all at all
TD: My daughter, na so life be, different ppl get their own luck, d ppl wey dey there b4 too don steal money now, na just luck, for example some ppl r born armed robbers (U what???) so nobody fit catch dem bcos na d head we dem bring come this world be that, u u go come follow dem go rob and u know carry armed robber head, na u dem go catch, dey go run commot leave u there, as my papa dey talk that time, u and d next man no be d smae shape una head be, u understand me my daughter?
36:hmn, yes sir, i understand
TD: my daughter, abeg i get headache, make i buy alabukun (some powder like drug for headaches) for here abeg
36: no problem sir
after na so d man begin tell me story of how alabukun used to be N10 now its N20.
anyways i get to d airport sha, i ended up paying d cabbie more than we had agreed, i just liked him. sha i bought a ticket for the 11.30flight. went to d lounge and got hungry, so i went over to d food conter, nothing interesting but man must whack now abi?
36: please can i have one meatpie, one beef roll
Lady: Beef roll? whats that?
36: Ok sorry, sausage (lol) and a can o f red bull please (i need all d energy i can get o)
that meatpie was d most disgusting thing i ever ate in my life, i had to down d red bull o, it was all i could do not to puke, anyway we proceed to baord after an announcement, im still sitting, whats d point rushing now? plus i was on d phone either with my mum or dad cant remember now. anyways as i got off the phone one tall fine brother walks up to me lets call him Tola: Damn he smells nice
Tola:hey lady, u know if my daughter was here right now, shed be all over you, shes 5yrs old and very tall and likes slim people, so shed say i want to be like that aunty
36: oh really (what? is that teh new chat up line in town? i must go out more often) id like to meet ur daughter then, sha we start talking sha:
T: how tall r u>
36:6ft without heels
T:so how tall is ur husband (ppl always assume im married cos i wear what looks like a wedding band sometimes) or is boyfriend.
i was about to say i dont have a boyfriend then a lightbulb goes off in my head, Oh God i do have a boyfriend, he is my boyfriend, oh my
36:hes 5.8
T: ha so u see d top of his head den
*i wasnt sure if he meant standing up or whilst chooking/gbenshing/kpanshin/whatever word u use*

anyways sha got to Ph safely sha:
Tola: is someone picking you up?
36:No, im just gonna get a cab to the hotel
T: oh dont worry we (him and his partner) have a car picking us up we'll drop u off
*chai, i hope this one no be kidnapper o?? what did d baba ask u to bring? long legs?
36: Thanks
anyways he drops me off and we swap numbers (u knew that was gonna happen right?)
shha got to d hotel about 3, i got bored jare, watched boring tv, tried to take a walk, but i ran bak, the place was too damn quiet, make dem no come kidnap me say i look like 'american'
fell asleep about 9.30, it rained. it was cold. i was lonley. LOL.

*wanted to put hotel pictures and stuff up but blogger no gree me o!!

I am not so annonymous...

2007-11-06T09:08:00.000+01:00

So it turns out Lush found my blog, actually he didnt find it someone sent him the link.
Last night Lush and i spent about an hour or so on the phone just talking, we havent talked since the wedding thing got called off, so it was kinda like a catching up session, the what u been up to? hows work kind of gist, so u can imagine how shocked i was when he said:

Lush: ive been meaning to ask you something, been beating myself up about it wethere to say it or go to d grave with it
36: oh, whats that? tell me now!
Lush:Do u have a blog
36: Blo? whats that?
Lush: A blog
36:" dont have a blog o, dont know what u r talking about
Lush: 36, r u sure u dont have a blog? u know 36inches of brown legs
36 *shit* eerr I, well i eerr......

Lush: A few days after our wedding got called off, i was at work just feeling bad/sulking or something, anyways a coleauge of mine Toyosi (Yes thats her real name, and im almost certain she is reading this) came to me and was like:

Toyosi: hey wasup, cheer up now are u still feeling bad about d break up or something like that
anyways whilst she was talking to him, she picked up his phone and sees his screensaver says Lushcious (thats where d name lush came from)
Toyosi (been d smart Alek that she is) does ur ex have a blog?
Lush: Of course not, if she did id know about it
Toyosi: are u sure cos i think.....
Lush: she doesnt have time to blog, trust me, she works mad hours so im almost certain she doesnt have a blog
Toyosi: oh okay, seems like you know her well then.
Lush: i know her like the back of my hands.

Fast forward to August when my best friend Tosin passed away, Lush says to Toyosi, u know what if she has a blog she would most likely talk about her friend Tosin. What did Toyosi go and do??? she gave him the link to my blog!!!!!! i mean come on??? anybody else but Lush now!!
he was upset.

Lush: why didnt u tellme you had a blog
36: cos telling u or anyone else defeats the purpose of having a blog, the idea of a blog is to be able to put your thoughts down anonymously
Lush; i understand that but you should have told me still.
NO Toyosi should have respected the fact that i wanted to be anonymous and kept her bloody mouth shut!!!
Lush: she made me promise not to tell you
36: whatever man (that even makes it worse)
Lush: it was somewhat srange reading stuff u wrote in November about the guy u were seeing when u and i were meant to be trying to piece our relationship back together
36: i started my blog in November, he first few posts i did didnt necessarily happen at that time, so no i wasnt cheating on u if thats what u r implying
Lush: oh okay, anyways Toyosi says she really likes your blog though, oh and i think u write well too. u captured some moments perfectly
36: hmn hmn
Lush: but im upset u didnt tell me sha, some of d comments were very cruel to me
36: i didnt say anything bad about you in any of my posts, in fact if u werent sure how i felt about you, my blog would have answered any question u might ave had
Lush; yes i know but would have been better if i heard it from you than from someone else
36: Okay Mabinu, sorry i didn tell you.
Lush: No worries

so now im almost tempted to shut this blog down, i started it about a year ago cos i was going through major drama and i needed a place to pour my heart out ANONYMOUSLY. but now i dont even know, PH knows my blog, now Lush knows too and i fear i wont be completely honest with my posts as ive been in the past so as not to offend either of them. imagine me doing a 'i miss Lush' post? or a 'Ph and i are off on a romantic getaway' i dont know man, i just dont know, whats the point in blogging if half of my posts will be like sacharin sweet.....

Toyosi, thanks o, you just made my a life a little more complex.

PH....

2007-10-26T10:41:00.000+01:00

Okay im back!!!! i have a moment to breathe now. im feeling like shit today but oh well life must go on. i did promise a post before the end of the week so im here.

so it seems like i owe quite a few people lunch, PH does stand for potential husband. a few days after my wedding was called off i made a 'note to self' in my mind that i didnt really want to get married again, for me it wasnt such a big deal and i dont need to be tagged 'Mrs somebody' for me to be complete, so marriage was exed out of my plans. im jumping, ok let me tell u about PH first and why he is PH

PH and i have been friends for a while, hes a great guy, very sweet, God fearing, in fact he pretty much matched my 'boyfriend wanted list' anyways nothing was ever going to happen btwn us even though there was some kind of attraction when we met,but i was about to get married and he was in a relationship as well, so we just remained friends, hanging out, and talking about our past, that sort of thing. after the whole Lush saga, his relationship ended as well (id like to respect his privacy by not going into details) but it was MESSY!!!! at the time it didnt even still occur that maybe we could, but we had both been hurt so we just hung out more and talked and helped each other get thru. then one day we were talking and it just came out:

PH: Would u freak out if i asked u to marry me
36: Yes, id run away from you.
*case closed* (well or so i thought)
anyways i started to see him in a different light, here was this dude i knew like the back of my hands, he was somehwat what i wanted in a man/husband and he was single. apparently he was thinking the same. somehow we started talking about *us*. i know him so well i could just marry him tomorrow, but of course we have to be sure its not a rebound thing abi. i enjoy his company, we r honest with eachother BUT we r just taking one day at a time. no promises yet.

i labelled him Potential Husband as opposed to Potential Boyfriend, cos like i said i could just marry him tomorrow....... so i take back my words, marriage doesnt seem like a bad idea now... but there no rush, the aso-oke ppl for my wedding to lush r still calling, the wedding.com centre ppl still sending me emails telling me 2mhts to my wedding, before i used to just cry whever i got those mails, now i just smile.. PH has given me another reason to smile.... BUT the guy has scoin scoin o. brief rundown:

Age: 32
Location: Lagos (me i can do across d ocean o)
Job: Financial Advisor/Portfolio Manager (Yes we work in the same indutsry so u can imagine the sort of conversations we have, its always, the yield went down, to calculate the fair price do industry pe divided by stock pe multiply by price, u know that sort of thing, sometimes our conversations r almost suicidal, when our opinions differ on whatever financial topic we r going on about, its hillarious)
Dark skined
Education: Bsc Philosophy MBA Finance
Religion: Christian
Any other quaetions????

HOWEVER Gods sense of humour is second to none, i started saying at the age of 16 that id NEVER date anyone shorter than me let alone marry one, guess what baba God has gone and done??? this dude is a whole 4INCHES shorter than me, and thats me without heels by the way......

So lunch is on me, for everyone that got it right, send me an email Please!!!! missbrownlegs@yahoo.com

36 is losing it..

2007-10-22T15:49:00.000+01:00

guys,

i havent really been blogging, im aware of that, but trust me when i say my life is in a mess, things r happening o peeps, my life is going in different directions, feels like im more than one person sometimes. its been CRAZY. Job interviews, house hunting (no im not moving out), trying to be fit,trying to fit in the new PH, all of this and still wokring crazy hours o. this girl needs a break. ill put up a proper post before the end of this week, but in the meantime, u can just take a guess at what PH stands for, if u r right, i owe u lunch (if u r in naija of course).

Remembring Moraks

2007-10-15T14:33:00.000+01:00

should have put this up on Saturday, but internet was doing slow dancing:

What is Death?
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.

All is well.
~ Henry Scott Holland

Morakinyo Akinkoye - February 25 1979 - October 13th 2006. Miss u lots homeboy.

update on old post..

2007-09-26T13:45:00.000+01:00

i did a post in June this year tiltled Dilema, this is just an update on whats happened since then, to for this to make sense u might need to read the first post see here

so Dilema One:
A few days after that conversation, i went to see my Aunt and i bumped into Dupes mum:
36: E ka san ma (Good afternoon ma)
Mama dupe: ma ki mi jo, ki lon ki mi fun (Dont greet me, what r u greetin me for)
36: *in shock* ki lode ma ki ni mo se (Why Ma? what did i do?)
Mama Dupe: Ki lo se, ehn ki lo se? to ri pe ani ko ran omo lo so vavan fola lo shey ba wa soro mo? abi? eyan buruku ni e, mo de ti mo na, pe ore abosi lo n se, elo na ni owo na? to de di pe ko ma so fun emi pe ko se se? ta nie na? shey o ju bai na lo ni? wo ma worry, a need iranlowo e mo, elomi ti mu Dupe lo si school to fe lo ko ti e n shey vavan fola gan, in fact won ti ron lo si school to beta ju iyen lo, gbogbo owo to ti san tele a dapada fun e ( what didnt u do? ehn what didnt u do? because i asked to send Dupe to vavan fola, thats why u refused to speak with us abi? u r a bad/terrible person. i knew it that ur help wasnt from ur heart, cos really how much is the money sef? that u now had d audacity to tell me that u couldnt do it? who are you? are u more than this? dont worry we dont need ur help anymore, someones else has sent Dupe to another school, not even to vavn fola a much better shcool than that, all the money uve spent thus far, we will retunr it to you)......... i was in so much shock i couldnt even speak.

so sadly i dont sponsor this child anymore, i havent heard from them since. but i know she isnt in the school i was paying her fees for.

On a brighter note:
i made a decision about this little girl the other day who reminded me very much of 'the shrimp' (Funmi Iyandas Daughter) i have actually never seen the shrimp before but i assume she would just look exactly as Damilola looks so i have nicknamed her egbon shrimp (Sisi Funmi e ma binu, ill pay for the copying).

Damilola is 7 years old and shes just the most intelligent 7 year old ive ever met. i first heard about her when she was about 3 or so, she was in Nursey 1 at the time and was doing well, until her father died of what they said was cancer (Damilolas mother thinks otherwise), anyways her mother was a full time housewife (her husband hated the idea of her working) ando so when he died she tried to start a business or something, but then his family members came one day and kicked her out of the house and took every single thing her husband left behind, they were generous enought to give her a cheque of N10,000 (which bounced by the way) (she actually started laughing when she got to that part of the story) anyways, luckily for her, her husband had opened an accoutn for her where he would usually pay in a monthly allowance and or any other money she requested and so with the little she had in there she started a business. she started a small catering business, serving food in the canteen of a well known bank.

by the last term of her primary 1 Damilola was known by everyone in school, she was just such a special child and very vocal, she had an opinion about everything. first term primary 2 and no one saw her for a few weeks, someoen went to their house and saw her sitting outside just reading a newspaper (i kid u not, this girl started newspaper reading at age 4), apparently her mum was ill and she was at home looking after her, anyways her mum was taken to the hospital and Dami brought back to school, her uncle came, and said he would take care of damilola and he paid her fees. all was well. well until a year ago when this uncle too died, they also claimed her died of cancer. anyways Damilola is now 7 an in pry 4 (she got a double promotion in frpm pry1 to 3, u know how naija schools r now) anyways for some reason her uncle had paid her pry school fees in advance (rumour has it that he had been told that he only had a few years to live). anyways i met damilola a few days ago and we had the longest conversation, our converstaion ranged from education, to music, to politics to fashion, everything. she even had some very intersting views on the re-denomination of the naira. i was just in awe of this little girl. she also told me how she thought the 'whole world had gone mad' (im quoting her o): i mean aunty how can the police commisioner say he didnt tell his people to arrest women dressing funny? so where did they get the orders from ehn? in fact i think they will arrest me soon too o, cos my uniform is above my knees.id like to have a word with that police commisioner o. also aunty why come all the witches in Nigeria can only do bad things like kill people, cant they go and old NEPA in posistion or something? why cant they utilise thier time properly instead of flying about in the night and killing nice people. the world has truly gone mad o. im telling u aunty. i just sat there speechless!!

im sure u guys r wondering where im going with all of this, the thing is this girl touched my heart in so many ways, i just thought it would be a waste if shes not encouraged by way of futhering her education (as that seems inevitable, her mum is still not any better and shes only making a small amount of money from her catering business, which her sister now manages for her) anyways so Damilola is my new cutie, after her primary shool is over i shall be responsible for her education, this one will certainly do me proud. that i know for sure.

Confused.

2007-09-17T16:31:00.000+01:00

How do you love someone with a broken heart?

'Think of this as in a ur heart is broken and his heart is in pieces too'

being grateful,

2007-09-12T16:54:00.000+01:00

I read a post recently thatgot me thinking about what I have and what I want. And I discovered I have all the material things I want, my health and weight are good, my career is where I want it to be, my relationships are solid (well, dont ask my questions about this one o). So why doe sit seem like ive just been so ungrateful in my last couple of posts

A couple of years ago, I was driving along and thinking about some depressing/negative crap when I looked up and saw a billboard with some ad that said, “Be Grateful!” Reality will slap you in the face if you let it.

So yesterday as I remembered this event, I decided I needed to create a new habit… the habit of being grateful for what I have right now… being grateful every single day for life and it’s gifts.

I have a habit of allowing my thinking to slip back into negative patterns, so commitment to this goal will not be easy for me but in an attempt to be happier (well in an attempt to focus less on all d crap im unhappy about) , here r the things im grateful for today:

Being alive…this is easy to take for granted. After all the deaths ive witnessed lately I am really happy that today, dispite the pain I am truly grateful just to be alive.

I am grateful that I can walk, talk, see, hear, and use my hands, and how can i not be grateflu for this llllooooooonnnnggggggg legs??

My Parents.. Dad and mum u r the best,for giving me a life that i clearly wouldnt have had if u hadnt adopted me at the time u did, for treating me the same if not even better than ur own kids, for not telling me the answers to everything but leaving me to figure them out as i go on, for everything.

My siblings.. what can i say, u ve been my rock. im grateful for the best brothers J and Cash money, the best sisters, 34, LL and Gee. im grateful to be ur blood.

My Best friend.. for understanding me in spite of my scoin scoin (trust me when i say i have first class scoin scoin so it takes a lot to put up with me)

My Friends.. too numeorus to mention but are unbelievably supportive no matter how big a mess i am, u mean much more to me than ud even know and i apprecite u.

My Ex Lush.. grateful for the times we spent together, but also grateful to God for showing me a way out of what would have undoubetdly ended in tears and misery.(blog for another day)

For my job that im good at and i enjoy and keeps me comfortable by paying me Millions of Naira every year, God im grateful cos i know millions of people that will do my job for half the pay.

My health.. High blood pressure is no more, i was just stressed. plus i havent had a major illness in d last few years, in spite of the fact that i molest my body with the things i eat.

My Home.. ehn okay its not mine but im grateful for being able to go home at night and sink into my big bed.... i know lots of ppl who dont have that.

I am very grateful for forgiveness – letting go of anger and bitterness feels so bloody good! How did I do it? By knowing who’s worth it and what things are worth it, and not shitting myself about what/who is not. i not kill myself abeg.

For my brain, my number 1 asset, followed VERY closely by the legs!!!!

For my heart, ive been told i have a heart of gold.

Grateful for A, the man who is daring to unlock/mend my heart. im grateful for him because hes attempting to love me inspite of his own broken heart, wo God help u.

Grateful for the kids i sponsor to school, for they r doing me more proud than i imagined, also grateful for theheart to still sponsor them in spite of thier foolishness at times.

A grateful heart is one who's lived through trials along the ay then found the strenght to look ahead and face a brand new day. A garetful heart is one who knows that sorro does not last and morning brings a ray of hope to chase away the past. A grateful heart will alays be much stronger than the rest for they have weathered every storm and conquered every test. Lord I am grateful...

And another one...

2007-09-10T08:40:00.000+01:00

i was playing tennis on saturday morning when my phone rang, it was my dear friend Ed, it was very unusual for him to call that early, one because we hardly spoke on weekends except we really had something to do together and two because the dude is just scattered so calling me at 8am in the morning was a bit u kno not normal.

anyways he was asking me if i remembered some dude who came to say hello to us at news cafe two fridays ago, and i was like no i dont, then he told me a couple of other places where we had seen him and then i remembered, okay so i remember wasup? well he died in a car crash yesterday morning. i didnt know Okey personally, i only knew him through Ed. but u see the reason why Ed called me was because a day before we had been talking about my friend Tosin, then we talked about Sope and some other young under 30 people who had passed on in the last 5 or so weeks, he also called because in a funny way, the last couple of times he had seen Okey, i was with him those times. this just doesnt seem to end, whats going on......

Rest in Peace Okey Mmaiye

Words..

2007-09-07T12:30:00.000+01:00

I sometimes find I'm drifting Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly Worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand, The many trials that I have known, The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind, So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question Just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find, To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate My life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper, there must be Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion Always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try, To focus through the haze, Just serves to add more questions, Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard, To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know Just what we have in store?
Each incident, each moment passed, Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ... Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me My meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken, And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude, To this, my wrinkled brow.

©KM

Tired....

2007-09-05T10:31:00.000+01:00

That sums it up. I've been tired for the last month or so. just tried of everything, life, work , everything.

Dr Ifeanyi and I had an appointment last monday and after all the tests and all he told that my blood pressure was dangerously high. Expectedly so u idiot, my friend just died, i havent slept and havent eaten either. does it stop. am i the only one here.

ive had a constant headache since my last post so much so that i feel like i ve lost my mind. now all i think about is the mind ive lost, the severity of which i only just grasped after i read back all my posts. i ownder whn the mental fog will lift?

its really hard not to be discouraged.

Lord im tired, i have too much drama in my life

For Tosin

2007-08-27T14:37:00.000+01:00

Tosin and i met in primary school, i couldnt have been more than 3 at the time and she would have been 4, we became friends instantly, we became inseperable, we pretty much did everything together, i remember being in the school band togethere, tosin on the piano, i floated btwn singinf Auto or something, and something else. by the time we got to secondary school, Tosin had grown up so fast, it seemed like she was well over a year older than i was, i looked up to her. Shes the closest female friend i have. Of all my female friends, Tosin was the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most trustworthy, the closest to God, in fact she was as close to perfect as possible. she's seen me through all the ups and downs ive been through in my entire, everytime i had a something to share, be it a problem or something of joy, id call Tosin, and she would pray with/for me. for the first time in my life yesterday i questioned God: God got this one wrong was what i said, i know i shouldnt question Him, but i couldnt help it.
i remember when, whilst i was in England, i would call her and we would just talk for hours and hours on the phone just cathcing up on what was going on in eachothers life, i remember her advice when i was contemplating breaking up with my first boyfriend of 7 years, she said: '36, its not how long its how well', a few years after i had to tell her those exact words when she broke up with her boyfriend of about 5 years, little did we know what God had planned for her, barely a few months after d break up, she met this wonderful man.

I remember barely a year ago, when myself, dondonian and Bee packed our things and went to spend the night at Tosins parents house, it was the 29th September 2006, the day before Tosins wedding, we stayed up all night talking, gisting, and the usual stuff girls would do before the big day. i remember how happy she looked on that day, i remember how happy and fulfilled her husband looked as well, he had finally found his missing rib.

i remember the week after the wedding was their thanksgiving, that was the first time i went to her matirmonial home, i remember telling her i was only going to come and visit her once a year as her house was at crown estate, which is like a 45mins drive from VGC, it was a long journey, i remember her reply, she said 'iwo bawo, o to be' (you wouldnt dare). i remember her calling me early this year and she said to me ; oi, ur god daughter or son is on the way!!! i was so happy, everything seemes to be falling in place. i remember the last time i went to her house in crown estate, it was her 26th birthday May this year, i said 'wo ore, mi o wa si ile e mo o, dis place odikwa very far (my friend, im not coming to ur house again, its too far), and she said ; 'ma worry, we r moving next weekend' i was so so so happy for myfriend, she just seemed so at peace, her husband dotted on her like she was an egg.

i remember the last time i called her celtel number, she said, im off to the states in a few days o. we kept in touch, she would come online everyother day and we would just talk in general, i remember always teasing her abut having twins, saying i thought she looked like a house, and she would always say, dont worry give me a few months after this baby and ill be a babe again.

i remember getting an email from her 3 weeks ago saying; ore, i dont born o, i had a baby girl 3 days ago, attached is the picture of my little angel. then i spoke with her on the phone and in my mind i was thinking wao, i didnt know it was possible to be home so early after giving birth. i sent my friend an email thanking God for her life and prayed for her baby as well, i didnt get a reply, i assumed she was probably busy settling into motherhood.

Yesterday morning, my mum called me to say she had some bad news, i said what mum, she hmned and hhaed until i snapped and said just tell me will you, so she said, Tosin is a bit ill, ive known sicne thursday but i didnt want to worry you, shes getting better though, they said she was ina come but shes coming round dont worry. i prayed and in my heart i felt she was going to be okay so i thanked my mum and got off the phone.

when i got home later that evening, i just knew, my mum was in tears and she didnt even have to say anything i just knew my friend was gone. my soul aches!! your husband can not be a widower already?? uve only been married 11 months?? r u saying your daughter would never know her mother?? how much of a wonderfull person she was?? what about the parents that uve left behind!!

my heart is heavy, i dont know what else to say....

Rest in Peace Tosin Fuja (Nee Abatan) May 1981 - August 2007.

you touched my life in more ways than one. I miss you.

Good ol Blighty......

2007-08-17T09:52:00.000+01:00

*warning* Extra Extra long post*

*small rant* someone please remind me NEVER to fly agbero/molue class also known as economy class EVER again, ha, come and see as all my 36inches of legs just bend as i sat down, it was d most uncomfortble flight ive ever taken in my whole life as in, na die. in fact thunder fire that travel agent who told me * all flights are fully booked, first class, business classs everything, but i have a customer who wants to cancel her flight, its economy, dont worry though theres lots of leg room and its a new plane so its not that bad* leg room???? in fact the guy don crase patapata, the bloddy plane was not new there was no leg rooma nd den most of all i sat next to a woman who bugged me all through teh damn journey!!!! nonsense *rant over*

Time Frame: 7am wed 1st August - 10am Sat 10th August
Destination: London
Airline: Shithole
Plans: Shopping, hook up with friends and eerr more shopping
home: Baker Street.

lets go:

Day 0 - Wednesday 1st August 2007.
so im meant to go to the UK tonight but its now 10.37am and im at my desk at work, my leave actually started yesterday. im more than convinced now that i need to find a number for workaholics anonymous, i wonder do they have an office in Lagos??? i suppose i could always check out yellow pages when i get to london and call em up.

* 36, can u please put opolo (frog) eyes through this template)

wetin b dis now, im not supposed to be here jo. oya opolo eyes come and sit here my friend i dont have all day. 3pm. time to go to the airport to check in.

Airport: number 5 on d queue, not bad at all. waiting...... *shuo wetin dis man dey carry???? whats all this smelly stuff, oya i trust customs pull am for one side abeg. my turn,

*can i have your passport please?

sure. here.

*gives me funny look (i get this all the time, no b my fault say dem born me for london na? haba u think say because d passport no be green, i steal am, olodo) *passes passprt on to next person*

*please place your index finger where d red light is?

shuo!!! them don get scanner for muritala mohammed airport? my people don dey step up o!!! but i wonder if dis thing na just show? if u tell dem say make them bring out my records now, nothing go show, na dat time nepa go take light!!! naija o!!

customs man: why is ur suitcase empty
36: Just because
CM: Ha wait o, u look like someoen i know
36: *oh dear, is dis old man going to start chatting me up???
CM: R u not Mr Browns daughter???
36: quick scan of mans badge!!! yes i am
CM: ehn ehn i said it now, your father used to be my oga about 10 years ago, dont you remember me
36: *you damn right i dont bloody remember ur ass* oh i think so sir, good afternoon
CM: tell ur daddy u saw his boy, balarabe
36: ok will do
CM: no need to check her luggae, have a sfae trip. bgring me back something okay
36: okay bye. (so if i carry drugs, na so una no go check my luggae)

*checking in over*
girl: you have to be at the boarding gate for 7.15pm
36: *abi girl yi ti ya were ni (has this girl gone crazy) why? is the flight not at 10.15?
girl: yes it is but its a full flight and there r bound to be delays at immigration cos there r quite a few flights for tonight.
36:yeah ok. whatever.

its 4.30pm, * i should still be able to dash to the office now, let me do quick reviews, shit is this traffic i see, mo daran, its 5.30pm, im going to miss this flight o, oya lets be going to the airport now. 7.45pm: i see the airport lights not bad.

*muah muah* take care babes. talk to u later.

Day 1: Thursday 2nd August 2007.
Welcome to London heathrow.. we
36: oh shut up and just let me out of this shit hole u call a plane.

passprt control man: can i have ur passport please. *check - swipe* look up, look down* all done. welcome home. (i always love it when they say that)

*baggae collected*

*voicemail* - been trying to call u since last night, cant pick you up from the aiport, job interview this morning. (atole oshi)

ok, so shall i take a taxi, what the hell, im only going down the road (e be like say i don forget say htrw and baker str no be down d road) i miss d tube jo, lets go buy a travel card.

one day travel card please: ticket machine: peak travel card 14.75. Lord Jesus, shuo, say wetin, i dey go Luton? nonsense, give me single ticket to Baker street jo. 419 oshi

10.15am - Home. fell asleep. slept the whole day, i was mad tired, called the folks and other peeps to say i got home okay. my friend P called me, meeting up for dinner tonight, ah men cant a girl get some sleep. ok no probs see you at 7. me im just wearing jeans and a vest o, make anybody no come disturb me for this place. but london bloggers say make i carry umbrela now, me i no see rain o??? 36, u carry a lot of goodness around with you jo, see as u bring sunshine from lagos come london!!!

Day 2 - Friday 3rd August 2007
time to go spend some money baby. lets go to the west end shall we?
first stop - Topshop:
36: scuse me where is the tall section please (they keep moving the damn thing around)
man/boy: just right round the corner.

*black jeans, black pants, white vest, blue vest* im done here man.
bill: 78pounds (pere, dont this people know im here to spend money?? nonsense)

where next: hawes and curtis, jermyn street.
this place is empty now? nothing nice, hey you, how r u? didnt know u worked here? ok i need lots of shirts but theres nothing here? come back on wednesday? thats when u gonna get new stuff? fabulous? see u on wednesday then. sizes i want? here you go.

5pm: arms are aching, ten shopping bags already, how about i go home drop this bags and come back? shebi dey close at 9? okay oya get on the train. 5.45pm. back in west end.
ha shebi somebody said they have primark in this west end (yeah trun your nose up, u know u all buy primark abeg, make una no front) yepa??? i used to work at allders years ago now (HR) before they went bankrupt, so thats the new primark?? ok lets enter now. shege?? people like cheap clothes sha!!! ha ha!! see crowd, omo i no fit do this place o, ha they have plain t-shirts, ok let me just buy one blue one, actually why dont i just buy things for the girls (my house maids) from here, oya lets search.
36!!!!!!
*ye!!! who dey call my name*
turn around. ha my rep in naija is over, dem don catch me for primark, me wey i dey try do undergee. this boy we be say everytime na big place he dey see me. oya go over and hug him jo, nothing do you.
36: hey you wasup
him: didnt know u shopped in places like this, last time i saw u as at selfridges (axhole)
36: jus came to get some stuff, what r u doing here
him: came with my friend, she came to buy some t-shirts, she says their t-shirts r quiet nice
36: me oh really? might just buy some myself, come and show me where they are ( i don use agbari for am, me wey i wan buy t-shirt beofre)

8.30pm: shopping for the day over. total spent: 874.39. (omo Mr Brown, you just dey spend money dey go. nothing do you jare (abi anu))

Day 3 - Saturday 4th August 2007.
i cant get up o, im tired jo. ha im not used to all this walking around o!! u know in lagos, u want to go round the corner u just get into ur car and u drive, u cant even drive in this bloody london, in fact if i attempt to get into a car and drive in london, they will revoke my liscence, wetin b all this slow motion driving u people do in london? why should i stop for you? you its agbero style driving we do in naija. omo if u enter my front even if na zebra crossing, after i knock u down finish u go explain why u looked like a zebra!!

5pm: my friend P, calls, im going to gallions reach (somewhere in Beckton) oya lets go, shebi they close at 7.30.

7.30pm: shopping for the day over. total spent: 115.96. spending the night at Ilford with my friend P, lots of catching up to do, u know the staying up with ice cream and cursing men? yeah that.

Day 5 - Sunday 5th August 2007
since im in Ilford, let me kuku go to Romford. oya come and drop me, oh this was after church sha.

Marks & Spencer - check
Miss Selfridge - check
Topshop - check
H &M - check
Jane Norman - check (this shop, all thier clothes na im dey show breast, i berra go and buy me a wonder bra)
Waterstones - wasnt in my original plan, but couldnt resist buying fixed income and bond trading analysis book ( e don do, i like book abeg free me)
Soccer world - Arsenal Jersey (na u know o, i don dey support this team for the last 10 yrs, dont worry we go show una this season) CMF has been harasing me that i must not come back withouht Man U jeasery for him, Man U ko, Man V ni. go to hell jo, u r not getting it.

5pm: shopping for the day over. total spent: 500.12

Day 6 Monday 6th of August 2007
ha, wo, gbogbo ara lo n ro mi (my whole body aches) i no dey go anywhere i beg.

2pm: im bored jo, oya lets go to Barking to while away time and to see Toks - one dude like that. he wants to send something home. ok no wahala.

5pm: text from P * r we still going to lakeside, on my way home from work now.
36: yeah pick me up at barking.

6.37pm: Lakeside shopping centre. where do u blody start from.

okay new look, wetin i go find there. u guess nothing!!!! ok i lie that top i snice, could wear it to work on a friday, how much? 18 quid? ha ha since when? r u topshop? take jo and give me change nonsense.

oh theres that timex watch that ive wanted since o. oya how much is it ? 50quid pere? give me two jo, black and brown, oh there sthat watch CMF gave me money to buy for him, how much 100quid? oya give me dat one too.

shopping for the day over. total spent: 720.17

Day 7 Tuesday 7th August 2007 : nothing, major, just area shopping.

Day 8 Wednesday 7th August 2007: oya i dey go hawes and curtis.
hi is Banke at work today?
Alex: no shes not here today can i help
36: ehm she was meant to keep some shirts for me she told me to come today
Alex: okay lets me check whats your name
36: 36 Brown
Alex: ehm i cant see anything on hold, but heres what why dont you tell me what sizes you want and ill get some for you
36: ok here goes.

3 hours later and with a bill of 1000pounds (yeah i know 1000 pounds on shirts abi??? no be for only me) i was done. now how am u going to carry all this bags????? 57 fucking shirts. mo daran.

i don tire....... will conclude this later.

The vows that i was never meant to take

2007-08-14T10:49:00.000+01:00

i resumed back at work yesterday and i was sort of trying to clear my documents, i just realised i had so much junk, my desktop, my documents, everywhere, so after going through my 1470 emails (yeah i actually read each and every one of them and replied to do important ones), anyways , i decided to start deleting documents i didnt particulalrly need anymore. then i came across a folder called 'blogs'

i opened this folder before i actually started blogging and it just has bits and pieces, sort of like a diray, a lot of the things in this folder r not things ive posted on blogger and it was interesting to say the least, u know sort of seeing what i was thinking/wishing/doing and all in 2005. there were also some posts i had in there that were saved recently, probably something i wanted to post up and didnt get round to it, anyway i found this one thing that just brought tears to my eyes. it was a microsoft word document titled 'vows' i opened it:

Our Wedding Vows... me

I, 36, take you, Lush , to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a faithful wife, to love and to honour you for all times.

Our Wedding Vows...Hubby

I,Lush, take you, 36, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God's guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband, to love you for all times.

i deleted it after reading and after cring in the bathroom, but then an hour later i went into my recycle bin to retrieve it. i promised i was going to blog about whats happened since my post on d wedding being off and i cant bring myself to post anything about it, it hurts, but im moving on getiin better slowly but steadily. Love doesnt have to hurt. and it doesnt have to be complicated either.

ps: im fine o!!!!!!!!!! i will put up my london post before the week runs out. I need another break, if dis (all this extra work) na why dem increase my salary, abeg they should collect the increase back o!!!! im overworked.

Blogger Online

2007-08-13T09:27:00.000+01:00

Im Back!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody missed me??? No??

well, im here, back in the office, its crazy, i have 1470 unread emails, and tons of them i have to reply to, so im neck deep in work. i will update as soon as i can.

much love.

Trials of Bro Jero/Jeros metarmorphosis

2007-07-30T11:59:00.000+01:00

so yesterday i took myself to terra kulture to see the one of laspapis produced plays, i swear i have not had that much fun in a long long time. i cant realy say im a theatre person i mean ive seen a few, but yesterday i just had to go, i had seen 'anatomy of a woman' ealir in d year and i was impressed. but this time, i went cos of laspapi.

i was impressed

i laughed ehn?? oh dear. what with the whole cast doing 'yahozee dance' the whole time, i swear it was hillarious.

i hung out with some bloggers afterwards, funny thing is only 2 of them knew i was me. it was kinda funny though.

Olawunmi, Snazzy, Uzo, Omohemi, Daddys girl. had a blast guys!!

Bacchus/London

2007-07-23T09:01:00.000+01:00

guys, u dont know how much all the comments on my last post meant to me, im extremly grateful!! for all d advice and love. i appreciate u guys.

Im fine and still alive, i havent jumped off a cliff just yet lol. ill do a post soon on whats going on but abeg give me a minute to rant about something.

two fridays ago my younger sister (lets call her 34) went clubbing with her friends, they ended up at this bar/lounge/niteclub/shithole called bacchus (located on Awolowo road in Ikoyi), in all my 3yrs in Naija, ive only been to bacchus once, and i remember thinking to myself how crap d place was, what struck me as weird /downright stupid was the fact that there was only one tiny entrance and no exit, so basically u had to go out thru that same tiny door u came in thru, now dis shithole (excuse my french guys) is practically all wood, and i just imagined if there was a fire?? everyone don become bbq be dat.

anyway i digress, so 34 went to bacchus with her friends and after a very good evenin/morning (as it was about 5.30am) they were on thier way out of there when a fight broke out btwn some guys, anyway to cut dis rather long story short, one of the guys smashed a champayne glass in her face!!!!!!!!!! (now picture this right, 34 is VERY!! light skinned), anyway she got rushed to d hospital and ended up with 12 stiches to her face (just right under her right eye), its just not fair, now shes going to be scared for life, all because she went to dat fcking shithole called bacchuss. if anybody knows louis priddy (or whoever runs that nonsense) they better warn her to stop letting school children who feel d need to fight one another in her bar/club/lounge/shithole. 34 is fine, but i dont know if shes really fine, i fear its going to have some emotional/psychological effect on her. God help us o.

*****Rant over*****

Fellow London bloggers, 36 is proud to announce that my office FINALLY aproved for me to go on leave o(after one whole year) i don work tire!!!!! anyways ill be in London on the 1st of August, if anyone wants anything from Lagos, food, CDs whatever, u can send me an email - missbrownlegs@yahoo.com and id get it for you.

ps: will someone take me to a naija club in london so i can show off my yahoo yahoo dance steps? please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.

The Dream is over...

2007-07-09T10:48:00.000+01:00

So the wedding is off...........
I'm okay
He's fine too

we were both pretty slow and stupid, for some crazy reason we never really talked about our genotype until last week, turns out we r both AS. im sure u all know what that translates to.

oh dear.

Dilema, with an S

2007-06-28T10:55:00.000+01:00

1. one of my kids that i sponsor to school called me a few days ago and our conversation went something like this:

me: Dupe, how r u? hows school, ur parents and everyone?
Dupe: Fine aunty, we r all well. how r u?
me: Very well thank you. wasup?
Dupe: Aunty i just called to say hi and to also ask you for something.
me: ok go on?
Dupe: but first before i ask, u have to promise to give it to me (e ma wo omo yi, na me u wan use naija sense for)
me: ask first, ill see what i can do.
Dupe: Aunty, i have this friend, that i really really like, shes like my best friend and i really love her (in my head im thinking, right? i suppose u want me to pay her fees too?), shes in my class (ok maybe not pay her fees then) and we help each other out with school work and everything else (ok where r u going with this, spill it or free me men, i get work)
me: ok......
Dupe: but you see aunty theres a problem! shes leaving our school in september, her mum is sending her to either Vivian Fowler (Bimby lads, comot that smile for ya face) or grange
me: Dupe, pls get to the point
Dupe: Aunty i know you like vivian fowler and so i want to please ask that can i go to vivian fowler too???
me: *silence* (see me see wahala, VFMC cost like N1m per annum, thats enought o sponsor five kids to a private and equally as good high school. i was fuming, she wanst even asking me, she was telling me, there was some undertone in her voice like 'u berra be sending me to VFMC, otherwise, my agege boys r coming after ur arse. lol.)
Dupe: Aunty
me: Dupe, lets talk about this later ok.
Dupe: Ok aunty, hold on mummy wants to talk to you

Mama Dupe: Omo mi bawo ni (My daughter how r u)
me: Mummy e ka son ma (good afternoon ma)
Mama dupe: awon mummy ati daddy nko ati oko e (how r u folks and ur husband) (who tell this woman say i get husband???? husband bawo)
me:alafia ni won wa ma (they r all well)
mama dupe: omo mi, dupe so fun mi pe oun fe lo si vavan fola (i swear thats how she pronounced it) jo ba mi se fun, mo mo pe owo yen po, but jo oloun a ma bukun e si ( my daughter, dupe told me that she would like to go to vavan fola (lol i can get over that), please help me make sure she goes, i know its a lot of money but God will continue to bless you)
me: Ma, ..... (she interrupts)
mama dupe: ha baba dupe ti de, ma pe e pada jo ba mi wo se o (Baba dupe is back ill call u later, please do this for me o)

*talk about saved by the bell* how do i tell this ppl to piss off without coming across as rude, cos they seem kinda ungrateful.

i dont know what to tell her, does this girl think i have a tree at my backyard that grows money????

2. Im gettin cold feet marrying lush (oh i didnt tell u guys we picked dates and eveything, ha sorry, my brain is on overdrive at the moment) marriage scares me, i dont know if i can deal with being married, isnt it a lot of pressure??????

3. issues at work. theres this guy i work with right, hes like 5 odd years older than i am, but hes about 4 levels below me sorry change tthat to about 6 levels, anyway, u know that naija mentality of who is this small girl telling me what to do? anyways a few days ago i asked the guy to prepare a letter for a transaction and as usual he didnt do it (im so used to this, everytime i ask him to do something, he says ok, then dumps ot on his table and doesnt do it, until i tell cmf and cmf tells him, then he does it) anyways, seeing as cmf is out of the office, he finally got round to doing it after i had asked 3 or so times. i looked thru the letter and asked him (in the nicest way possible) to please change a certain line in the letter (i jokingly said, look the ppl we r sedning this letter arent top notch like that o, so just put it in simple english). he goes ok. then he comes back with the letter and this time the english is even bigger than what was previously there, so i said, Ojo (thats not his name, just thought that would b apt) just replace this line with blah blah blah. the guy walks away and that was d last i saw of him.
so fast forward a few mins later and one of my colleaugues who is also my friend came up to me and said Ojo said u were rude to him ealiar, how he didnt like how i spoke to him and who does that girl think she is, doesnt she know that me and am no be mate. (wetin concern agbero with overload) dont get it twisted mate, i dont care if u r donkey years older than i am, i am ur boss!!! if u dont like it get to stepping (no i didnt tell him that, i just ignored him) anyway this morning, i found out that the letter he sent out was actually wrong, he came to meet me himself o, to say, 'i realised that i put N10,017,000.00 instead of N10,107,000.00'. i said Ojo why r u coming to tell me this now? what do u want me to do about it, its ur responsiblity, u were smart enought to send out a wrong letter so i suupose u r smart enough to correct it and go report urself to the ED cos i aint taking responsibility for your shit. needless to say he got a query from the ED.

ok i will stop, this is rather long.

ps: Im okay, i know i said i was in trouble, but i cant blog about it, im still sort of in trouble, but its nothing that 36 cant deal with, and no im not pregnant, no one found my blog, but thanks for ur concern, i feel so loved, BimbyLads ma binu jo, ill send u an email. Tminx, if u hear one strange noise by ur bedroom window, it would be me (im after u men, lol)

pps: ive been talking to a certain blogger, they r just so cocky, even cockier than thier blog, highly opinionated (so u can imagine the kind of conversations we have( its unending we both just keep arguing and arguing until one person says ok ill drop it (thats become our fave quote sort of, another way of saying piss off lol) but i do enjoy talking to them.
ive also been emailing another blogger, shes just so fabulous, cant wait to see her (no lesbian intentions) ok im out.

Shit!!!!!

2007-06-25T09:49:00.001+01:00

Im in Trouble.......

Things you should know

2007-06-18T16:01:00.000+01:00

There are something's we all didn't know......is it right??

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. the most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David

Clubs - Alexander the Great,

Hearts - Charlemagne

Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. – They were all invented by women.

18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. – Honey

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed.

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet.

24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

25 In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow

Just to say thank you...

2007-06-15T09:57:00.000+01:00

Dear CMF,

you and i have come a long way and sometimes i wonder what i'd do without you (dont worry i know u cant do without me ok. lol) ok ima get serious.

Friendship isn't always easily described. The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.

Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.

Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

Thank you for well for just being you,

for all the times u've been there for me

for letting me cry when i needed to (even when u r secretly thinking, ki lo n se omo yi)

for making me laugh

for helping me understand myself better

for believeing in me (in spite of my scoin scoin)

for supporting Lush and I

for your words of encouragement

for letting me fart in the car on ' that trip' (ok ok i just had to put that one, but honestly thanks for that i couldnt have held it any longer)

for putting ur issues aside to deal with mine.

i could go on and on, but just know that im here for you whenevr you need me and i hope that this friendship has only just begun....

love you lots,

36.

15 things u didnt know about me

2007-06-07T16:40:00.000+01:00

ok so, ive been thinking, trying to continue my last post but i just kinda felt it ended rather nicely and didnt want to rock d boat, there were lots of things i missed out but haba e don do, ya'all know too much already, so instead of carrying on with the 36, this is ur life post, i thought id add 15 things u didnt know about me so here goes:

1. Im extremly confident (so automatically people think im arrogant), and highly opinionated (i dont apologise for this o)
2. i have a black belt in karate (u can insert that btwn age 18 and 19 in the 36, this is ur life post)
3.i have VERY VERY low tolerance for alcohol (as in i would get drunk on half a bottle of sminorf isce, (CMF, sharap there) i kid you not!!)
4.im that girl u see @ a club dancing like my life depended on it. (and yes i can do the raz naija dance steps too. yahoo yahoo dance anyone?. lol)
5. im very down to earth ( I can switch from Queens English to pidgin English or Yoruba in 2 secs flat)
5. my distant cousin attempted to rape me @ 14. (the heffer didnt succeed but a year later he tried to rape my dads friends daughter who was/is a top military offical, the giuy shot him in d leg, thought dat was rather hillarious!!!)
6. when i was younger i used to stick my hand in my shirt to touch my breast anytime i was bored or upset (ok ok i confess i still do it, piss off)
7.im allergic to cheese.
8. i dont smile much (nothing personal i just dont ok)
9. im not very diplomatic, i speak my mind, i really dont know how to pretend.
10.i got bitten by a dog when i was 11 (now that i think about it maybe thats where my scoin scoin came from. no?)
11. i currently sponsor 5 people to school. (one in primary 3 in high school and one at Uni)
12.i have a shoe fetish ( as at last count i own over 50 pairs) ok i also have a bag fetish (im that girl u see @ the palms with an orange shirt and an orange bag, i know i know)
13. im painfully honest (im that friend everyone loves to have but hates when they pen thier mouth, i will tell u, u r fat if u ask me, even if everyone is saying u r just really big boned, nah darling u r fat ok, do something about it)
14. i play football (and i think i play better than most guys, yeah i said sue me)
15. finally, i really am a sucker for love.(go figure)

36, This is your life

2007-05-31T13:50:00.000+01:00

Age 0: @ Born to Mr & Mrs Brown, one day in March 19xx
Age 2: shipped off to start school (my father no dey joke wit education o)
Age 3; Sat on the ironing table one day and ironed my stomach (e be like say i be ogbanje then)
Age 4: started to notice one aunty in the house, my mum said she was her older sister, miss bonkers stares at me funny, i dont like her mummy!!! my mum said u shouldnt 'not like' anybody, little did i know that 'miss bonkers' was indeed bonkers
Age 6:had my first kiss, Anthony and i drank from the same straw (lol, i couldnt wait to tell everyone, see my life, i wonder where that boy is now sef)
Age 7: had the worst asthma attack ever, went into a coma, Doctor pronounced me dead (morrafucker oshi) luckily he asked my parents if they wanted to see my 'body' one last time, my mum said she couldnt, my daddy of course had to be a man and went in to see his baby, so my dad came into the room, and held my hand, i chose that moment to come out of the coma, my dad was crying i think and he called my name and i said 'yes? he goes ha 36, r u ok? like duh of course im ok, and i of course procedded to tell him how all d angels wore white and i even saw Mama (his mother. (Needless to say i never went back to that hospital).
Age 8: Found out that Mr & Mrs Brown were in fact not my biological parents and that i was born to Mr Crazy and Miss Bonkers (Note that i didnt say Mr & Mrs crazy, the heffers werent even married they were just 'doing' eachother, belle com catch Miss Bonkers) dem no dey use condom in those days o!!!! see dem. olori edes (thanks baba alaye) funny i thought i looked a bit like Mrs Brown only im a darker version, *lightbulb* that would make sense Mrs Brown and Miss Bonkers are in fact blood sisters, but miss Bonkers was too useless to take care of her child so Mr & Mrs Brown promptly adopted 36 (God Bless them) i coudltn have asked for better parents.
Age 9: Started high school, wih no breast!!!! as in, i was flat like a drawing board, i thought ok, theyd grow with time, little did i know!!!
Age 12: Started Senior high, sttill no bloody breats, the thing just refused to grow!!!!
Age 14: Had my First Boyfriend, morrafucker oshi, little did i know that the heffer was going to be in my life for 7 years, nonsense!! but sha he must have really liked me though, cos i still had no breast!! ok a little!! but still nothing
Age 15: Aced all S.S.CE Papers, High school over, morrafucking breast decide to show up, u would have though they would just blow up big abi??? Nah men try again, bloddy A cup!! nonsense!! Met Mr Crazy (the biological excuse of a father)
Age 16: A-levels in England, Mr Brown asked me, no sorry begged me to at least go and see Mr Crazy and bond with him, for where??? after much talk sha, i packed my things and went to live with Mr Crazy, Boy what a huge mistake, Mr Crazy was trying to act like a father but he had no clue, he didnt know what i was like so it was just a mess!!! then one day i did something (cant remember) and Mr Crazy raised his hand to slap me!!!! chineke me??? werin do dis man?? abi crase dey worry am (lol now that i think about it, he was Mr Crazy afterall), i promptly ran away!! came back home when he wasnt home, packed my things and called Mr Brown, threatned to phone the police or something if he didnt come to take me away from this crazy mofos house!!! MR Brown was like what??? nobody hits my baby!!! pack ur things ill be there in a flash. that was the last i lived with Mr Crazy o!!!
Age 17: cleared 5 A-levels, got offered a few scholarships, but Mr Brown has pride o!!! he gave me the 'who said i couldnt pay my childs fees ehn? they can chop thier scholarship jo!!! to celebrate MR Brown bought me my first car, A peugoet 206!!!
Age 18: University started!! youngest in class, wanst a joke o!!! was still a atomboy so u could hardly tell iw as a girl, always in tracksuit bottoms, and since i didnt have breast (i swear i still cant get over this breast issue) anyway i also attempted to smoke @ 18, but after a while think like 2 months, it lost its appeal, i still dont get what the hype is about!!! got my first tatoo, got my belly button pierced. started hanging with the wrong crowd Had my first major surgery, one morrafucker cracked my knee with a baseball bat (yeah like can u say ouch!!!) he was sentenced to jail for a year i think for assualt, morrafucker was so high on something he didnt even remember d next day well until they got his ass arrested!!
Age 19: Got my tongue pierced. Had my first car crash, i dotn remember details of it as i was asleep and i wasnt the one driving, all i remember is waking up in a hospital, i have a metal in my arm to show for that!!! Tejs wherever u r thanks for that yeah!!!!
Age 20: graduated with a First class. my daddy bought me my second car, a peugeot 206 cc, black with red leather interior!!! to celebrate, i lost my virginty (i know how bland is that) the heffer an di broke up 5 mths after that (remember that heffer from when i was 14, yeah him, olori ede oshi)
Age 21: Distinction Msc Investment Banking. worked briefly in the Uk
Age 22: Moved to Nigeria to begin life i guess, Met Lush. started working in Lagos
Age 23: Bough my 'own' first car, without daddys money (yyyyyaaaahhhh) A nissan sunny it was.
Age 24: Bought my second car a Toyota corolla sports( i never rest since then o, everyone think say na sugar daddy buy car for me!!! nonsense

To be continued.....

Afro Kinky

2007-05-23T16:32:00.001+01:00

Im ashamed to say ive had this afro bloody kiny in my hair for 10 weeks!!!! Ten bloody weeks. My dad called me yesterday and said to me :

Mr Brown: 36 wa;
36: yes father, ki lon shele (yeah me and my dad r cool like that)
Mr Brown: are u broke
(ok should i just lie and say yes so he can square me some naira)
36: NO!! why?
Mr Brown: r u sure? ok how much do u have in your account?
36: o si gi ni? what r u getting at? ok still have a bit left i dunno like Nxxx or so
Mr Brown: hmn ok, why then in Gods name do u still have this same bloddy hair on ur head , do u know that ive been seeing u with this same whats it called, Afro madness for what seems like eternity now
36: Haba daddy , chop chill, ive only had it for ten weeks.
Mr Brown: Ten weeks!!!!!!! good Lord, come closer, aba jo to gbogbo ile sen run (no wonder the whole house stinks)
36: Yeah yeah dad, dont u get the idea behind this hairstlye, the longer u keep it the sexier it gets.
Mr Brown: this is not sexy, it is not sexy at all, in fact its not even se, not to talk of xy, did Lush say it was sexy? chai u children of nowadays sef, u dont even have the faintest idea what sexy is, dont u see ur mother, still looking all hot at 58? ehn, have u ever seen her with one hairstly for more than 2 weeks? anyway she wont even try that she knows im particulatr about my womans hair
36: Good for her, Thank God im not ur woman then innit?
Mr Brown: r u saying Lush has not complained
36: no dad he hasnt, in fact he thinks its cool, and was even saying maybe i should lock my hair
Mr Brown: i need to call taht boy and teach him some things about women, im digressing, i dont like this hair and so id like for u to get rid of it, if u dont have money tell me i will give u money ok?
36: i really like this hair o daddy. but sha it has stayed long enough ill take it out this weekend.
Mr Brown: so what style r u doing?
36: dunno might just relax my hair and put it in a pony tail
Mr Brown: (burst into laughter) that hair style that makes u look like u just came out of secondary school?
36: Yes dad that one
Mr Brwon: how about u doing 'sade adu? it brings out ur big opon (forehead)
36: Thansk for reminding me i have opon, 'i inherited it from somehwere o'
Mr Brown: certainly not from me!!
36: yeah yeah Dunno, dont have 4 hrs to spend at the salon jo, but all the same can i have the money for my hair then?
Mr Brown: u said u had Nxxxk now?
36: But.....
Mr Brown: my friend bugger off!!!!!!!!

so i will go to the salon on saturday and take this kinky out of my hair, will miss u kinky!!!!

Guess who got promoted?

2007-05-21T19:16:00.000+01:00

Quaterly appraisals was last week. I passed in flying colours (like i didnt already know that i would, yeah im hot, intelligent and hardworking, even if i do say so myself)

so fellow bloggers 36 is proud to announce her promotion!!!!! yes yes yes. Thanks *muah muah* so i guess drinks are on me abi!!! make una take it easy sha, pay rise doesnt take effect until june 1st o!!!

FIRE!!!!

2007-05-15T16:41:00.000+01:00

Today i witnessed a fire, nobody knows how or what started it, but a whole house was brought down. i was working at my desk when i heard the noise, i didnt know what it was at first i thought it was just the usual cry of people over whatever, but then everyone got up and ppl started screaming, i got up too, and realised that someones house was on fire!! In less than 15 mins (the whole time i spent standing there) the house was gone:

Documents gone
pictures gone
property gone
memories gone
shelter gone

i called teh fire service, they said 'ok we'll be there' my friend called the fire service, another clolleauge calle dthe fire service, in all about 10 people called!!! at the tme we were all calling, al there was was smoke and the house could still have been salvaged. they came 35mins later, blaring sirens (they came with police officer wielding guns in the air, good for them cos i have no doubt that the area boys would have lynched them) 35 mins after the area boys had calmed the fire down a bit, but woth buckets and water left over from rain, there wasnt much salvaging they could do. i had tears in my eyes cos i tried to imagine whoever lives there, been at work and then coming back home to no home!!! i cried and then i saw him...........

he raced out of a taxi, wearing a light blue shirt dark blue tie and a suit, he walked calmly over to his now burnt to the ground building, and just stood there and just watched in silence as the idiotic fire fighters tried to take out the rest of d fire. and then he picked up his phone and made a phone call ( i imagine he tried to call his wife/family) 'honey where can we sleep tonight' i dont know how they will survive but i know somehow they will. i tried to imagine if this happened in London, they might still have a place to call home regardless of the fact that fire fighters only get paid 6quid an hour they would have arrived 5 mins after being called and would have gone in there to put out the fire.

'i left my home this morning, went to work and then came back,, came back to a a place formaly called home'

Ode to the Okada (a la snazzy)

2007-05-09T11:05:00.000+01:00

snazzy had a post with the above title up a few days ago and i left a comment on his page, after which he accused me of keeping such juicy gist from blogger. so, in order for u guys not to think im just 'hot and emotionaly conflicted (hey snazzys words, not mine), heres my okada riders gist. naturally this post is dedicated to SNAZZY!!!

i hate okadas (ok for all u non nigerians motorcycle!!!!) get over it, its called okada in this part of d world and its somewhat a means of transportation, cheap, fast (especially in traffic ridden lagos), not safe and most importantly ridden by guys who mostly leave thier brains at home!!!, i remeber once talking bout them in this post:
these gurs r a nuisnace i cant lie!!! and they really do have a pact with death.

anyway: gist 1:

picture this: My car was like 4months old or so (u know how we treat new cars in lagos now) anyway so im in traffic (traffic is bitch in lagos o!!) now and i look in d mirror and see an okada dude trying to squeeze btwn my car and d one behind me, busy area o so ppl r shouting 'hey u go scratch am o' or something like that, and true i just felt that little bump from behind, before u could say 36 i had flown out of my car and landed d dude a dirty slap, he saw stars (i know cos my hand ached for days after that) then d dude tried to slap me and i step backed and slapped him again a second time, i was so pissed, it took some intervention from some area boys (apparently d were d ones shouting u go scrath am) who promptly taught d guy a few lesson for daring to even attemp touching a woman. what can i say!!!!

gist 2:
ok a few mths after my okada man wozzing experience, im driving again (i dont have a driver not because i cant afford one i dont have a driver simply for d fact that they r all lunatics, and i love driving) and this okada dude looks like hes sleeping or something, d guy was just dazed!!! anyway so the guy cuts infront of me and kinda scratches my car, (in my mind i though oh no u didnt) so he tries to get away. picture this right, long road no where to turn no traffic and d guy tries to get away from me (might i add that i drive a sports version of my car) say wetin. promptly i stepped on the gas and caught up with d idiot, so i swerved and put out all my five fingers (hey i never claimed to always be posh now) anyway i also gave him a piece of my mind, i remember saying something like - 'e be like say u leave ur brain for centre table when u dey commot house' dude couldnt blive it he said 'u dey crase, bcos say big man don buy u motor.( you know how things r in lagos, if u r driving a really nice car and u r a young girl, most ppl automatically think, some older dude u r dating bought u d car, i paid for my car all N3.5m or however much its worth. i digress) before he could finish i promptly replied him 'ur papa' so dude tries to chase me, say wetin!!!!! i promptly started doing 100, dude didnt give up, so i though ok no wahala, carried on driving, dudes still bhind me, i started to get worried o, so i called my cousin (one local dude like dat who is like king of OPC (OPC is like a local security group) in his area)) and told him d gist he was like, oya drive to my house now, we'd wait for u @ the gate of d street, so i drove in, d idiot is still behind me, parked, came down, i could see him smiling thinking i go brush this butter girl today, as soon as he parked and was walking towards me, i just saw like 20 guys (i swear even fear catch me) walking towards me, i had spotted my cousin sha, next thing i knew, okada dude got lifted off his feet o!!!! they wanted to really brush him (think they were just looking for someone to beat up i swear) i had to plead for d guy in d end!!!!! then when they released him he was like, madam u for warn me now,i for no foolow u if i know say u no be normal person now (ur papa, na u no be normal person, idiot) he then says: abeg please find something for me make i take buy fuel, my fuel don finish. i was like u dey crase!!!!

meeting with Lush II

2007-04-30T15:08:00.001+01:00

ok so what ya'all thought the gist was over??? na think again!!! Nollywood producers aint got nothing on me man, ok so im looking for idead if i wanna turn this into a naija movie, whats the title gonna be???????

ok so where was i??? this has to be short has i have work coming out of my ears due to this

lush: 10 seconds????? ok joke, should we meet up nxt wknd?
36: cool.
Lush: for the record, i have missed you, and whatever we both decide im just glad that we r back in each others lives even if we r going to be just friends.
36: yeah same here.

so anyway fast forward to next weeknd. ok so i should jsut point here, that we called each other like 10 times in a day for the rest of the week (damn so much catching up to do, im excited, should i be?) anyway so on saturday night (we planned to hook up on sunday) i got a text saying something like this 'Its done o, I swear i will kill u if u leave again' (abi dis boy dey crase, wetin don do??? if i leave bawo??? o boy no come put pressure here o abeg)
36: sorry didnt get that? whats done????
Lush: Temmytayo and I
36 (thinking) Oh shit, im in trouble, i hope i thought this through well o!!!! *text message interupts my thinkin* its from my older brother J : *lagos big girl (long story d dude is just looney but thats wat he calls me sha) whats this im hearing o, 2 wks ago u said u saw Lush with his new girlfriend, small time im hearing dat u ppl r back together, WTH???? see me unfailingly on monday ok!!) thinking: Oh Shit. Houston we really have a problem.
36: Are u sure about this
Lush: eeerrr too late now mate, dont even think about backing out now o!!!!!!!!
36: So, let me ask again, why the hell r u getting back with me after i broke ur heart
Lush: I wonder o, e be like say i don kolo sef (oh did i just say that loud)
36: hmn, ok so do i have to make a decision now
Lush: A bi girl yi to crase ni (is this girl crazy), u mean, i mean, u mean u r still thinking, e mo daran (im in trouble) ok heres d deal, me i have made a decision for you o, if u like take it if u like put me on cruise, i go jus kolo for u
36:Lol u r not serious (oh Jesus,what have i gotten myself into, yes i know this is what i want but im not ready for this yet, i didnt think it was going to be this soon, what if, oh God what if i dotn even know what the what if is. shit, oh hes still on the phone, ok change d subject time ti think)
36: where r u?
Lush: iwo bawo, u forget its Lush u r talking to, i know u like d back of my hand, trying to change d subject on me, my friend answer!!!!!! (shit, he don catch me o!!!!)
36: of course imnot trying to change d subject, its just that i could hear voices in d background thats why
Lush: o okay, no im @ home, its just the tv, meanhwile they r showing something on tv blah blha (gotcha, subject changed, emi 36!!!!! i sharp no be small o)
36: yeah ive seen that stuff before o, but will love to watch it again, what channel is it on
Lush: Discovery Channel
36:ok hol on let me change the DSTV. ok got it
Lush: 36 mi, u and i know u r very smart right???? but come on surely u didnt think u could change this subject for long now (oh shit,, didnt quite get u did i)
36:oh Go away jo!!!!!! ha ha cant someoen even be evaisve with you. ok heres the deal. 'J' wants to see me and he wants to see you after that, once we r done with that then we can resume this conversation. yes?
Lush: J wants to see me????????? oh boy, ok will go and see him tomorrow (hahahaha wait now, tomorrow ke, i wont have had time to think now, whats wrong with this guy sef!!!!1)
36: no o hes gone to Jos and he back on sunday, im seeing him on monday and i think hes off to Ghana on monday night and back on thursday so u might not see him until friday (at the time i was talking this was actually a lie, but guess what? it turned out true o!!!! my brother did got o ghana and came back on thursday, so i no be liar o!!)
Lush: oh ok!!! thats alright then, good things dont come easy eh? ill wait patiently
36: yes mummy: gotta go, my mama dey call me will call u later
Lush: Ok bye

Mama 36: 36, ti e wa na (please come) Lush Nko (WWWWWWWAAAATTTTTTT) have u guys been talking at all, i had a funny dream yesterday u were @ d alter with Lush o (sey wetin, my mama don dey see vision!!!!!)
36:ehn ehn ha mummy alter bawo!!!! please o, me im not ready for the alter o!!! Lush is fine sha i just spoke with him now.
Mama 36: ehn ehn (smiling knowingly) ok o, ba mi ki wo ba pe pada (greet him for me when he calls back)
36: ok.

shuo, wetin be all this?? alter bawo, which kain vision this woman dey see, @ my young age alter!!!!!! abeg, leave something, Lush we i never even sure sey i want, i si gini???

anyway so i went to see my brother J the monday and we had a very long conversation (see thing is when Lush and i were dating, everyone in my house loved him to bits, like i said before he really is a lovely guy) so my bro is like, if u guys get back together id be happy but lets not pretend that everything is honky dory, there was a reason why u guys broke up in d first place and theres alo another reason so yound lady i have two questions for you, id like the whole truth and nothing but the truth (shuo since when u become lawyer na)
1: Mama Lush don die???? if yes werin kill am, if no? whats the deal there
2: Na u open mouth say Lush get new girlfriend, whats going on? has he left his girlfriend?? if yes why?? if no what the hell is going on in ur heard

ok so i answered his questions and he was like ehn ehn, mama lush never die???? ok so i need to talk to Lush, cos i want to make sure he knows what hes doing (u see!!! we dont play in my family 0!!!!) so tell him to call me ok!!!! yes bro. (u see i wanst freakign out that my bro wanted to talk to Lush, cos they were close before everything went bust so no biggy

so lush goes to see J right!!! i still dont know what they talked about, no one is telling me but knowing my brother he probably gave him some advice and a few threats too Lol.

anyway so thats it really, so time to tell Lush my decision abi
Lush: ehn ehn im listening o
36:eeeerrrrr ok thing is.......
Lush: let me help u out, thing is u miss me, but u r scared, scared dat ima different person, scared that maybe things wont work out, scared dat d reasonw hy u broke up wiv me hasnt change, scared dat maybe im getting back with u for revenge, listen baby im scared too okay, scared that u might leave me again, but im willing to take that chance, im willing to work thru all our fears, im willing to love u and be loved in that way that only u love me and if at the end of it all it doesnt work out, we will know that we at least gave it a shot ok??? (i suppose this is the part of the movie where they begin to play one mushy song like Michaels Boltons 'said i love du but i lied' abi?)
36: yeah u r right, but i need a bit of time, no not to think about it, ive made a decision and im sure ud otn need a crystal ball to tell u what it is but truth is i have a few distractions i need to sort out. (awon distractions mi de po bi (lots of distractions, dont get it wrong o bloggers, my distractions r just simply guys on my case o!!!!! wanst seeing any of them or anything like that)
Lush: distractions as in guys on ur case
36: yeah
Lush: expectedly so, i mean u r a beautiful girl so of course there would be guys on ur case, ok so how long do u need, eerrr how many ppl r we talking about here
36:quite a few!!!!!!!!
Lush: hey, see ppl queueing up to take my place. ok no probs just take ur time, safe to assume, i dont need to do anything else right?
36: not so fast darling my mother wants to see ur ass
Lush: really? fabulous, planned to come and see her myself anyway.id see her on sunday
36:ok

meeting with Lush

2007-04-18T15:24:00.000+01:00

ok, so the ex and i met up a few saturdays ago, the idea was to sort of clear the air, apologise for breaking up with him the way i did and basically cler the air sha, so that at least we would be able to say hi to eachother in public abi?

ive gottena few emails asking me if exs mother died???? no shes not dead yet!!!!!!!!

see this has made me realise something, its really hard when u break up with someone on technical grounds, its not like he cheated on me, or hit me , or was a bum in anyway really, his only fault was that he maybe was a bit imature about his mothers wahala. but the bottom line is its hard to let go when neither party has done nothing really wrong

anyway we met and i gotta confess, it was kinda ackward at first, all i wanted to do was just say my sorries an dash out of there, it was weird, i felt a bit uneasy, it seemed like he was seeing deep inside of me, like i dont know. anyway we said hello and he was a bit cold at first, a bit like ,yes what have u got to say for urself??? so i began be saying .......................................................... yeah u guess it ur dear 36 was speechlees, (wetin be dis, what happened to al the lyrics i had perfected in front of the mirror before leaving the house, oh dis boy go begin think say i don crase now, abi i don crase, oh dear houston we have a problem) ok so rather than rescue his ex girlfriend, dude just sat there staring at me making an idiot of myself, anyway somehow i managed to say ehm, i kinda forgot everything i planned to say, so he looks at me like yeah?? and im puff daddy.

whatever somehow we got talking and all i managed to say was one sentence, think i said something like u know im sorry if i hur you it as just that i didnt feel like u were standing up for me.... and thats all i maanaged to get out, and thats when he started to talk, said he didnt think it was fair how i broke up with him withought listening to what he had agree with his mum (we broke up a few days after he got bak from the Uk, true i didnt even want to hear what he had to say cos at that time i was just tired, i think his mother had called me a week before then so i was just pissed) and i didnt give him a chance to defend me (eerrr babes u had a lot of time to defend me ok, so dont even try that one) anyway long and short of it, he finally told his mother where to go. as in my question was why did it take u so long to do that (not that i wanted him to fall out with his mother or anything like that, but i didnt appreciate that fact that it seemed like she was in control of ur life) anyway so we said all that and he apologised if it seemed like he wasnt telling her where to go and that he really was trying to be diplomatic and also craeful not to hurt her (his mother). anyway (im trying to shorten the gist o) ooooooohhhhh i cant complete this gist, i have to go for a meeting. will be back to complete it. oya dont be angry now!!!

UPDATE:
Ok so where was i? ehn ehn so he was like o he was just trying to be careful not to hurt her feelings and he didnt think it would be fair to marry me if we didnt have his mothers blessings cos u never know what kinda wahala she might bring in the future (Yeah ok so thats true but then all i wanted was to feel like my man would stand up for me, so dat even if she brings wahala i wouldnt even have to deal with it, cos u would have, afterall she be ur mama now. what is that to much to ask?) he said but why didnt you say all of this (eerr why should i, u no be small pikin now? i shouldnt have to teach u or tell u how to live ur life) anyway after all that there was silence for what seemes like eternity, then conversation went something like:

Lush: u know when i saw u at the palms (i saw him at a shop called Game, i went to get some sports stuff sha, so i had all sorts in my hands, balls, sweat bands all sorts, but then i had 2 of everything?????) first i wanted to wipe the smirk off ur face (see me o, wetin i suppose do? when i see am i smiled now, hugged him said hello and dashed) i was thinking, whats making this girl smile, whats making her happy, after breaking my heart shes smiling, and then when i now looked at all the stuff u were holding i was like ok why do u have 2 of everything, is that whats making u happy???? is that why u have that stupid grin across ur face? cos uve moved on fromme abi???? (all this while i was thinking, e be like say dis boy don crase o, i know he really wanted to ask who the other person iw as buying stuff for was but he didnt ask (well not at that time anyway) and i wasnt volunterring any information abeg)
36: why were u thinking all of that, i mean u had this beautiful girl on ur arms (i had to use style to drop the girlfriend one na) so what if i was buying stuff for two??? at least iw asnt there with someone, u were there with ur arms around ur babe, abeg free me. whats ur beef.

Lush: oh who r u talking about u mean...... (for blog sake lest just call her Tayo) (Temmy tayo no vex o, i borrow ur name)
36: is that her name (in a like who cares kind of voice??? inside i was thinking chai, her name even tush pass my own)
Lush: yes that her name, i got an earful from Tayo when we got bak to her house dat day, she said i hugged u a second too long, i left her and was talking to you.... (i interupt him)
36: oh did she know who i was?
Lush: yeah i told her about u.
36: oh okay (at this point i was already thinking, mo de miss bobo yi o (i kinda miss this guy)
silence..................................
36: anyway as long as u r happy thats whats important (he interrupts me)
Lush: what makes you think that im happy (then he had this look on his face like oh shit i dont believe i said that!!!) then he goes would u like a drink?
36 :yes please (he gets up to get get a drink)

'oh my God did he just imply he wasnt happy, so why is he with her, shit, is this my chance to say hey i kinda miss u, oh whats this, i didnt come here to reconcile now? i cam ehere to apologise, but i still love him, oh God, ok Phone where r u Text : CMF, crase don dey happen here, gave him d gist. txt bak ASAP. CMF: di girl u don kolo finish, abeg stop fronting and tell bobo wetin dey shele, shebi i don warn u before say u and lush gor find way to marry. Reply: CMF shey na dat one i dey follow u talk, u don crase, i dey ask u question u dey tell me shebi u don warn me, omo ja men)

Lush: here, they didnt have what u asked for so i got ur old fave drink, i assume its still ur favourite right?
36: yeah it is. (Text from CMF: U have my support baby, u know this dude is fabulous and u know say na technical break up, but sha dont rush into it, lets be sure he even wants u bak sef, drop small hint here wetin he go talk, i know same him mama never die, so ask am wetin dey shele for there)
36: anyway how is ur mum
Lush: dont know ahvent spoken to her in a while (ha ha , no wonder she called me to tell me i ahd come btwn her and her son, aje osi)
36: ha? why not, please o u know shes ur mother u cant fight with her over a girl o (in my mind i was thinking, crase woman, i knew this was gonna come)
Lush: na i didnt fight with her, just been busy (say wetin, what uve been busy for the couple of months?)
36: u should call her, she wont be here forever u know and ud miss her when shes gone
Lush: yeah ok whatever.
silence.......................
36:so why r u there if u r not happy?????
Lush: Ehm, ehm, ehm, i cant answer that, i would be, i just cant answer
36: oh ok. (thinking damn!!! whats this na, wetin dey do this dude, omo answe jo) blank look
Lush: u really hurt me u know..
36: i know and im sorry, its not like it was easy for me either.... (interuption)
Lush: i dont like it when u say that, u keep saying it wasnt easy, but u walked away from me from us from everything, i tried to call , to explain what i had agreed with my mother, i couldnt keep grovelling at ur feet forever now, and here u r saying it wasnt easy? u moved on, wethere or not u were with someone else, u there 'us' away like 'us' meant nothin, forgetting how far we had come, forgetting all the dreams, forgetting that u were my breath, my life my everything (eerrr ok mate, it didnt take u long to move on either now, ok it took u a year, to move on from 'ur life' abeg leave story for market woman) it wanst fair, i didnt think u could ever do that, leave me, hurt me, take my happiness away.. i interrupt (by this time, as u can probabl guess emotions were high)
36: what does all of this matter anyway, arent u with Temmytayo.
Lush: do i want to be with Temmy tayo (that look again)
36:as long as u r happy
Lush: stop giving me that cliched line, im not happy
36: what would make you happy (my heart was pounding) TEXT from CMF, wetin dey happen?
Lush: You (gengen!!!!!! chei, why did this dude have to show me up like this na, me wey idey form big girl like' i had moved on)
36:ehm ehm ehm, im..... ehm, what am i supposed to say?
Lush: dont worry u r not meant to say anything, temmy tayo is calling me, should i pick up the phone?
36: yeah sure, i need to make a phone call anyway. Dialling: 0802********** CMF, o boy i don finish o, quick time i updated cmf, the dude dey laugh? wetin dey laugh u. CMF:36,see ur life? u r a sucker for love!!!! 36: gerrout there. CMF: if u get a go ahead dont agree to anything yet o, just say both of u should go away and go and think about things. 36: ok ose, gotta go.

Lush: do u miss me (WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) before i could answer, he burst out laughing. says u havent changed 36, still dont know how to hide ur expressions, see ur face like i just asked u jump on the table and dance naked.
36:ehm ehm......
Lush: temmytayo and i r meetin up next wknd to talk, my heart is not with her and i dont want to string her along, i think she knows as well. (There u have it 36: TXT TO CMF: I got a go ahead o, albiet an undergee one) i............ i think......... i
36: just say it, u what?
Lush: 'looks deep into my eyes and says' i really do miss you' (chei, see lyrics!!!!!!!, this boy don watch movies tire!!!) i know u still feel something for me, i can feel it, i see it in ur eyes
36: dont spill lyrics for me oga abeg (yeah i had to spoil the moment abeg, my emotions wwere on overdrive already) lets take this slow, you go and think about what u REALLY want, ill go and think about what i REALLY want and we'll talk about it again. is that okay
Lush: i know what i want..... (interrupts)
36: you know theres a third party involved now, amogst other ppl, so lets just think about it ehn)
Lush: how long r we thinking about it for?
36: u tell me
lush: 10 seconds????? ok joke, should we meet up nxt wknd?
36: cool.

Updating:

2007-04-16T14:34:00.000+01:00

As a result of seeing all u guys in my sleep harrasing me to update, im updating o!!!!!!!

ok on a serious note, im sorry ive been MIA, its work really and all sorts of madness has been happening, has happened, is still happening. think im losing it.

did ya'all vote? i cant beleiev Fashola is gonna be the new Governor as in isnt that like a national disaster? as in ok ok whateverm i know that snot what u guys wnt to hear so ill just go to the porper gist shall i????

the CMF and i r still cool, although, im staring to feel like there might just be a discnonnect soon, we might just stop being as close as we r now, especially seeing as we would probably stop working together in a few months, but i really do hope that we will find a way to still be close, hes really my tower of strength and vice versa i think and i cant even begin to imagine not talking to him everday like i do now. but ah well, thats life, ok again i know this is not the gist u want to hear so ill just go to it ok??

hmn hmn hmn, the ex and i r officially back together, so (drum roll please)intorducing ......... LUSH (Youd be hearing sorry reading about him a lot) ok i kno wu really want to know everything that happened at the meeting but i have work coming out of my ears and will update tomorrow. I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things that make u say Oh My God!!!

2007-03-30T10:24:00.000+01:00

My boss resigned yesterday. No thats not the Oh my God bit, The CMF is his deputy so he has been offered the boss's position which means the CMF (with effect from May 1st) is my new boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how i wan do dis one now ehn?

The EX and i are meeting up tomorrow at 1pm 'to talk' - i dont know whats going to happen after 'this talk' but will keep u posted!!!.

The Ex.

2007-03-26T07:49:00.000+01:00

I saw the ex fiance and his new girlfriend yesterday at the palms. my heart stopped, i almost threw up.he walked over, gave me a hug that lasted a second too long and intoroduced her i wanted to scream, but ididnt, said my hi and hello and made my excuse and left. they looked better together than he and i did, i think. he looked happy!! i truned around as i was stepping out of the store and he as starring at me (i onder what he as thinking) i'm sure they will be happy together. i'm sure i will see them again, but at least i got the initial shock of it out of the way with out actually going in to cardiac arrest. i suppose now i can stop feeling guilty for breaking his heart, and now i can free myself up to other possibilities, it was hard sha i cant lie!!

in other news (should be a newscatser o) yesterday had me thinking about my relationship with the cmf, and im wondering are we really as close as i think we r? im starting to re evaluate my life and all the people/things around me and something happened yesterday, i think i asked him something and he said he couldnt tell me, that just got me thinking, here is this person who i tell the stupidest (if theres any word like that) things about me, hes the first person i think to call if anything is wrong (in fact i called him as soon as i saw the ex and just cried, cry of releif? i dont know) anyway, i supppose thsi happenes to everyone at some point. u start to wonder if poeple are really who u think they r.

UPDATE:
The Ex just called to say he got this dream job he's been on for a while, he had this annoying gloat in his voice that seemed like he was saying see, i can do better without u, but really whatever, im happy for him.

'the other woman'

2007-03-15T13:12:00.000+01:00

ok, so ive been thinking about this a lot lately!! not because i plan to go down that route but because its getting alarmingly ridiculous the amount of married men on my case, im wondering why would i want to be 'the other woman'?

i find that i have a few friends/associates who had/have relationships with married men and they swear is the best, others dont quite see it that way. i once had a friend ( we r not friends anymore, we fell out over this married man issue) she was dating this guy, lets call him Kayode, now kayode was married with 3 beautiful children and i knew his wife, they got married when he was 26 and she was 24, 12 years later he says hes kinda bored and just wants to enjoy life a bit, so heres where my friend comes in, at 24 shes stunning, young, fresh and a body to die for, kayode wasnt such a bad looking guy either and so they met at one of my bbqs and hit it off, he never pretended he wasnt married, but somehow they started an affair. he told her from day one that he had no plans of leaving his wife and so didn t make any of those 'id leave her when the time is right promises that married men make'

they were having a blast. at whose expense i asked her one day? after much talking more like blasting from me she burst into tears and our conversation went something like this:

36, im tired, ive dated this guy for like 2 years and im just tired of being the other woman, im tired of the stolen times and the hush phone calls, 36 why cant i be the one he calls when there is an emergency, why cant i be the one he shows off at parties and family gatherings? why do i have to think twice before calling him for fear that she might pick up the phone? blah blah blah.
i pretty much just told her she put herself in the situation and she could just walk away. but she couldnt (or so she said)

this got me thinking if I could ever be okay with being the other woman:

I mean would i be ableo to deal with all the stolen times, the fact that my name would probably be saved as some oddly coded thing on his phone, will i be able to cope with not being the one in his arms at gatherings, considering how much i like to be shown off, i mean i just cant deal with it, its just wasted emotions. innit?

one day i spoke with one of my married male friends (no not the cmf) his name is T, and T tries to explain to me why its always better to dat a married man (actually the reason why we got into this conversation was cos he was trying to hook me up with a guy who i later found out was married. the bloody idiot) anway so T tries to say that married me take care of thier mistresses becaus ethey know that they r only there for a short while (sey wetin, na bcos u never see one psycho wey no go leave u until u give am bele) and that so they r just grateful for the opportunity os omething dumb like that.

its just really makes u wonder. this boyfriend/husband wey i dey find better be serious o!!!!

I wanted to put up the lyrics to a song titled 'the other woman' but i cant find it.

mini update

2007-03-13T18:22:00.000+01:00

fellow bloggers,

i know ive been missing in action, but honestly its work!!!!

it was my birthday on saturday (10th), so now im officially old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

will be back to update properly, so much has happened, so much to blog about.

Boyfriend Wanted!!!

2007-02-28T19:09:00.000+01:00

in my last entry i told you iw as tired of being single so as promised here are the requirements, really i dont ask for much, Dami, Naijabloke, and co, feel free to apply if you meet the requirements below:

"What kind of man am i looking for?"

Let me expound...

As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.

I pay my own bills.

I take care of my household without the help of any man.

I am in the position to ask, "What can a man bring to the table?"

Im sure you think I’m referring to money. NO. Hear me out:

I am not referring to money. I need something more.

I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation.

I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

I am Looking for a man who has enough confidence in himself to accept/understand that sometimes I will go out with my friends and not particularly want to spend time with him.

I am looking for a man who has enough confidence to not feel threatened by the CMF.

I want a man who dresses well.

I want a man who Is more educated than I am (e be like say na Phd holder I dey find)

Older than I am.

Am I asking for too much?

Im worth a lot more!!!!

valentines day II

2007-02-16T13:26:00.000+01:00

Im sorry ive been AWOL again. went on training and only just got back to the office today. i kept seeing blogger in my dream accusing me of not putting up part two so here goes;

so after kemis outburst, i was just kinda weak, i didnt really know what to say r do, but i have to admit that i kinda saw it coming so i maybe wasnt too shocked. anyway i called I and told him we needed to talk, he said what about i said nothing major just need to see you. so we hooked up a few days later and i just said i didnt think i could do this anymore and blah blah blah, i thought he was going to be angry but he just said ok. so that was the end of that. I forgot to add that I was also a very violent person so we literally used to beat each other up, i actually wnet and got a black belt in karate co si wanted to kick his ass, and i did, i remember one time he attacked me and i kust lashed out when i took him to the hospital the doctor asked if he was in some kinda accident. i had to laugh.

BF2
ok so after I i was sober for a month or so, but ti just thought what the hell no point crying over spilt milk especially milk that was sour anyway. i started hanging out a lot with lets call him L. L and i met whilst i was dating I i think they were room mates at uni or something like that, no attraction as such but we really got along and became friends, so while i was dating I he was our counsellor sort of, as in if I did somethin wrong would eport him to L and if i did something wrong I would promptly report to L. we were best friends. anyway after I and i broke up L and i started hangin out a lot. then one day we went to the beach and i was talking about I and i cant remember i think maybe i was crying or about to start crying, and L just pulled me close and hugged me, i literaly melted, i had never felt such comfort before, my heart stopped beating for a few seconds i didnt know what to make of it, and then he let go and we didnt say anything he just said i should just pray for God to give me the strength to move on from I and how i know hes always there for me and what not. ok. anyway a week later we were back at the beach and somehow we started talking and it just occured to me that i really wanted a man like L. he was good looking, he was the sweetest person ever, intelligent, God fearing, he was just perfect for me you know, so i thinm i told him that and he just went mute. i thought oh boy ive gone and lost my best friend now, 10 mins later (yeah he was quite for that long) he finally spoke and said he didnt know what to make of what i had just told him and that hes been attracted to me since the first day he met but he always felt he wasnt my kind of man and as such was just happy to be good friends, and he also said how whenever he prayed for a girlfriend/wife he would always ask God for a woman like 36inches and now he wasnt getting a woman like 36 he was getting 36, it was a very emotional day, but yeah so we started dating. you guys know the story abi? go re- read the post accident/pleaforadvice/blah blah blah. and u can read all about L.

so now im single and its been nearly a year, a year of self discovery, and stock taking. its been fantastic, of course theres been times when ive been lonely but in all, ive learnt so much about myself in the last year and even if i was not sure before, now i know FOR SURE that im a fantastic person with a heart of gold and i do deserve the best so i aint settling for second best. in fact im off to write my 'boyfriend wanted post' and put up all the requirements.

Valentines Day

2007-02-10T15:58:00.000+01:00

ok so everywhere ive been in the last few days or so has been red. everyones running helter skelter to get the perfect gift, im running helter skelter to get the perfect gift(s) for my client(s). yesteday it finally dawned on me that thi sis in fact going to be y very first valentins day as a single woman.

ive never been single in my life. well until fiance and i broke up last year. and i wonder what this day would be like for me. ive only ever had 2 serious boyfriend sin my life (yeah i know, sounds funny) ive decied to blog about them today;

BF 1
Lets Call him I. I and i met when i was in secondary school, i think i was in SS1 or so and it was first term, he was a new student, and i somehwat was as well (i started the schoo in JS 1, then changed to an all girls school in Jss3 and was back in my old school by SS1 as i totaly hated the all girls school, everyone was just so fake and probably still fake as i speak or type or whatever), anyway so tehre i am a slight nerdish looking 13 year old, and in walks in this 15 year old boy, i remeber i was reading a book when my biology teacher came in to class and said everyone we have a new student, and i thought (without looking up) isnt the cass full enough, then i looked up and thought wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeelllllll maybe not. he was cute. cuter than anyone i had ever seen. anyway i snapped out of it, and told myself my friend now is not the time to be looking at cute boys o. so everyones trying to be friendly and gathered round the new bouy to find out his name what school he was from and blah blah blah. everyuone except your trully (i did say i was a bit of a snub didnt i) anyway this went on for about a week, until i bumped into him on the staircase one morning, i was coming from the principals office and i wasnt looking where i was going and i walked straight into him. convo went something like this:

36: i... im sorry, i wasnt looking. r u ok?
I: (laughing at my obvvious discomfort), dont worry about me, r u ok?
36: yeah im ok thanks. (procedding to walk away) he stops me. (now this was really freakish as im thinking yes what?
I: you know ive been here for a week or so and i thin u r the only person i havent spoken to
36: really? (souding rather un interested)
I: yes really, so r u going to tell me ur name or would i have to steal you rnotebook to find out
36: my name is 36
I: are'nt you gonna ask me mine'
36: eer no,gotta go.
so i walked away.

anyway i cant really remember when after that or how we started talking but we did and we became really close, he was fun had lots of stories to tell from his old school and i of course told him who was the bitch, who was the guy not to talk to, who was and was not the happening dude/chick and what not in school then.
a year down the line, valentines day and dude sends me all sorts of jargons (then it was teh bebst u could send anyone o) anyway there was al sorts in the pack, perfume, red notebbok, red pen that sort of rubbish and a card saying be mine.
after all the posing and fronting with the ill think about it, i finallly said yes 2 or so weeks afterwards. i was now officially I s girlfriend.

I and i dated for 7 years but damn those were the craziest 7 years of my life. the first 2 yrs were like wao!!! I was my knight in shinig armour (or so i thought at the time0 he would protect me from all the other boys (hey i was only 14 at the time, the youngest in the whole class), he even beat up an older girl who was harrasing me one time 9should seen the signs right) anway, after secondary school, I an di did jamb together, picked teh same university and all that. got admission into the same school (university of lagos) and we were excited, and looking forward to going to uni together. then one friday i got back home from seeing I and my dad goes, pack your bags your r going to London on sunday night? im sorry? WTF? say that again? r u shitting me? going to London for what? we just came back froms ummer hols now? my friend dont argue with me, go and pack your things u r going to school in London. anyway to cut the long story short, i didnt see I before i left, i didnt tell him i was leaving either, i cried so much that weekend, everyone thought it was cos i was leaving home, like duh!!! of course not i hate you all u didnt let me say bye to I. anyway fast forward. got to London, and started tring to contact I, damn it was hard o. i wrote leters which i sent to my cousin (i found out years later that she got the letters, burnt them cos she fancied I at the time too. yeah can u beat that). anyway a year after i left i came back home on holiday (well no not really i came to look for I). so anway somehow i saw found him at the university of lagos after searching for what seemed like eternity. he was upset but happy to see me, how could i have left withouht sayig goodbye, blah blah blah. i said my sorries and we made up (note I and i had never kissed o) anyway, i spent about a month in lagos and I was really happy (or so he said) and he promptly went about showing his 'janded girlfriend' to everyone who thought he had been lieing about having a girlfriend in london.

it was finaly time to go back, I cried like mad, i thought hang on? wthats the matter with this dude? im meant to be crying not you, get over urself jo. annyway i left. we carried on dating.

lets just say my phone bill was astronomical, i called I every other day, and sent him emails everday, it was mad, but hey i was in love right? anyway i as the yrs grew so did our relationship (again or so i thought) i came to Nigeria at least twice a year and he was in London for summer every year. 4 years after we started dating we finally kissed one evening in lagos. long story. we kissed sha.

anyway i spent a lot of money on I, annytime i was coming to Lagos i would have 3 suitcases, 1 for me 1 for all the othe rfamily memebers and 1 for I, fileld with clothes shoes, boxers, u name it. he was myy man after all (nonsense, in 2002 i came home to see I and a few nights after i got back, Kemi (this girl who lives a couple of houses away from y house and who i was friends with before i left) came to say hi, and she asked to see some pictures (as ppl always do) anyway i brought down all my pictures and im there going this is shaniqua and lauretta and what not, so we get to a picture of I and his boys and she stops and im about to say this is my baby I, but befor ei even opened my mouth she goes ah ah is this not I? im like u know him? she goes mo fe mo pa ni (as in i couldnt know him any better) I is bolanle my rrom mates boyfriend now. hol on come again? WTF......

to be continued..

Tagged

2007-02-10T15:35:00.000+01:00

Tagged

Q&A

1. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Short miss sixy denimn dress.

2. WHAT KINDA UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? blue and white stripped gossard set

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? always and foerver - Luther Vandross (yeah im mushy and what? sue me)

4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Well, i can multi-task doe sthat count?

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? custard cream biscuit

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? blue or red.

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? hot like a bitch

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? cmf (yeah get over it, i talk to him all the time)

9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? got to be height, like ONB said if he aint taller than me no show.

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? no one sent it to me, saw it on a couple of blogs and im bored so....

11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? to be honest i dont know, itend to come across as a bit of a snub so i dont know.

12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? a bit emotional, but extremly grateful to God for still being here.

13. FAVOURITE DRINK? red bull?

14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? dont do alcohol, i have very low tolerance, i will get drunk on half a bottle of smirnoff ice (i kid you not)

15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? rice i guess, or maybe pasta

16. FAVOURITE SPORTS? Football (to watch), Basketball or lawn tennis (to play)

17. HAIR COLOUR? red. (yeah im on fire baby)

18. EYE COLOUR? dark brown i guess

20. TATTOOS OR PIERCING? both. 2 tatoos, and 10 piercings all together.(yeah i was really rebelling)

21. STAR SIGN? pisces.

22. FAVOURITE MONTH? dunno, that would be march i guess

24. FAVOURITE FOOD? dont have one

25. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the departed.

27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? again dunno, that would be my birthday i guess (10th March)

28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? are u shitting me, of course.

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? happy endings. im a sucka for love, yep i said it im a sucka for love. sue me

30. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer baby, when i get to show of all the 36inches of brown legs.

31. HUGS OR KISSES? depends on the source

32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? relationships, i cantd o one night stands, i cant touch anyone id ont commect with emotionaly.

33. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate

34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? hmn?

35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? dunno!!

36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? dunno!!

37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW? Winning by Jack Welsh

38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? dont have one. but if i did i assume it would be a mouse?

39. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Monopoly, i get to pretend im stikingly rich and own the whole town."

40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? spoke to the married man, exchanged a few texts with the cmf and fell asleep.

41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Thank you father for another day.

42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? Creation o. in the beginning there was God na? abi?

Overwhelmed Naija babe

2007-02-07T19:05:00.000+01:00

ok get over it you are really not that special!!! ok ok i lie, u really are.
my laptop has been acting up, i cant leave a comment on anyones blog i can only view so i thought ill do a happy birthday post for you on my blog hoping u pass by someday soon:

instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

I’m wishing you another year
Of laughter, joy and fun,
Surprises, love and happiness,
And when your birthday’s done,
I hope you feel deep in your heart,
As your birthdays come and go,
How very much you mean to the blogging family,
More than you can know.

happy birthday darling
so i have a present for you, a fantastic orange Mcqueen sandals, but i guess you'd have to pick it up whenever u r in naija.

reflections

2007-01-29T13:04:00.000+01:00

in the last couple of days i've been re-thinking the direction my life is taking, and im wondering am i on the right track? there is this feeling i have, that i wont be here for long, i dont know why, ive prayed about it tried to brush it off but it keeps coming back, ive had this feeling since i was maybe 10, i used to have very bad asthma attacks and whenever i had an attack i would always think 'ok this time im definitely going' but im still here, i outgrew my asnthma at age 14 and i havent had an attck since then, but then i still have that feeling. i try to live my life as good as possible, do all the things i want, go where i want and eat what i want, just in case im not here tomorow, most of all i try to share my feelings with the ppl i care about, try to say the i love yous and the thank yous and all, again just in case im not here tomorrow. im starting to question my sanity, starting to do things i never would have done, starting to depend more on people (very un like me) to what end? what if i go to bed and i dont wake up tomorrow? will i be able to look down from wherever and say i lived a good life? what would my friends say about me? what will cmf (the ever popular cmf) say about me? the ppl i truly care about, do they really care about me? does cmf really care about me/love me the way i do him? did my ex-fiance love me the way i loved him? i wonder. do my parents really care? does anybody really care? i wonder.....

Married man 2

2007-01-12T13:40:00.000+01:00

ok before i start part 2, let me just try to explain why i went for drinks with this dude. yes i knew he was married, (im not into married men, so rest easy ok), but the real reason why i went out with him was cos, remember i said they came for a presentation at my office? well realy i wanted to see if i could get a bit more information on the deal and see if i could suss him out of any small prints they might have tried to hide in the meeting, now i know this sounds a bit funny but honestly thats what i thought, yes the dude is good looking no doubt, but i mean hes someone elses man sorry change that to husband and i want to be married someday too and i want to strongly believe that my husband wont be a nuisance like this (thanks M.O.T), and as such i wont have an affair with a married man, what goes around comes around remember.

ok so part II

ok so dude tries to kiss me, like WTF? So i move away and im like whats that? he goes why are you so prim and proper, why cant u live dangerously? Ehm living dangerously doesnt constiute being loose now haba? he then goes i really want to kiss you and im like dude i dont want to. ok? he goes why? ehm like duh for lots of obvious reason, top on this list being the fact that u r married, so i go on and on and give him about 10 or so reasons why i would not. he goes yeah but u knew i was married now, i didnt hide that from you, ehm whats ur point dude, so becasue i knew u were married now means what? i should jump into bed with you because u were honest. this guy don crase finish. anyway so this dude just goes almost mute afterwards, im there yapping away, talking about work and all that, he goes i cant stop starring at ur lips, they r very inviting? i thought, abi ode ni ele yi ni (olawumi please traslate for me) so i go oh really (very sarcastic) anyway he goes mute again, so after a while, he goes, why do i feel like ive known u for ages and why r my so attracted to u, blah blah blah, anyway i didnt Kiss him (contrary o what ehm, who was that that said they were sure i kissed him) anyway so this dude starts to sulk, as in i was so shocked that a grwon man (well hes not that grown sha hes only 29) could sulk like that, he tried to kiss me a second time and i just told him that i didnt appreciate his trying to kiss me (na by force) and he should please stop trying cos he aint gonna get it? anyway so we left the forest like place and we r driving back to C and he goes 'i dont take rejection very well' yeah mate i noticed so tough, thats life, sometimes u get what u want, most times u dont, deal with it and stop whining like a child (yes i said that to him, and what? sue me) anyway he drops me at C and he still aks if se could kiss me, i just tell him bye and walk to my car, anyway so this dude calls me as soon as im in the car (note hes driving behind me) so we r talking on Third mainland bride and he talks me all the way to my ikeja where i went to meet cmf to slap him silly for telling me dude was a pastor? so anyway i get to ikeja and tell cmf everything that happened? ki ni cmf ma so? maybe the impression he got of u was cheap? WHAT? Im sorry WTF???? is this cmf okay? what does that mean, i dont know why but as soon as he said that i just started crying, (ok so that was really a build up of alot of things, dont worry will blog about that later) and thats it rally, hes been texting me everyday since then, last week he said hes going on a business trip this week and would like me to come along? for what na? his reply? cant i take my friend on holiday with me? oh pls mate spare me...

Married man!!!!

2007-01-11T15:40:00.000+01:00

ok so im back now, yesterday was my daddys birthday, left work early to have dinner with the family, my mum can cook!!!!! it was fun. happy birthday daddy!!!!

ive been putting off talking about this for a while , but i might as well:
theres this dude that i knew from 2004, ok no i didnt particularly know him as in know him, i knew of him, ok let me explain, i started a new job in 04, when i first moved back home and this guy had just stopped working in the company, but everyone was still talking about him cos he was (according to ppl) very intelligent and hardworking and blha blah. but mostly ppl were still talking cos the guy left, as in this was a company were no one ever left, it was like a cult. anyway so on friday last week, some guys came ot my office for a presentation in my office, in walsk this guy and another one, so for the sake of this blog lets call this guy ehm Tayo. so presentation was fantastic, he was as intelligent as id heard, i was impressed, and i guess he was impressed by my own ppl i mean not being cocky or anything everyone in my department is really hot aprart from one idiot but whatever.

anyway so after this presentation, the guy sends me a text saying 'nice meeting with you guys, very impressed oh and nice tatoo as well ( it was a friday, dress down, had on a long skirt and vest. tatto on arm) ok so im thinking ok, so i sent a reply saying nice meeting with u too, a sintelligent as i heard, u saw the tatoo oh which one (this is me trying to flirt right), so the guy startes flirting seriosuly, how he thinks im goregous and smart and u dont get such combinations blah blha blha, can we meet up for drinks tonight, of course not u idiot. (meanhile i had shown cmf the texts o, and hes like no dont worry the guy is harmless, hes a pastor, (cmf used to work with him years ago) anyway we text all night, back and forth and yeah ease of communication was good, oh sory i forgot to add that this dude is married o *(whats it with me and married men these days ehn, ha e gba mi o) ok so by satm it felt we had known each other for a while right and hes like oh lets hook up for drinks, i was like sorry mate cant do, going to the cinema with my best friend, so hes like ok letd do tomorrow, im like ok (yes i wanted to go, what i like to surround myself with intelligent ppl. no harm right) anyway so sunday comes im like lets meet up at C for 3pm. okay the night before we had talked about where to go and dudes telling me somewhere private, see me o, private bawo? anyway im like somewhere private like? he goes la campaigne tropicana resort (for all u guys who dont live in lagos, this place is like an hourse drive from Ajah, as in it aint even in lagos, its Epe, beautiful place yeah, but ita place u go for the weekdn with a boyfriend/ husband) anyway im like, u r pulling my legs right, i aint going that far, r u crazy (i never said i was diplomatic ok) anway hes liek ok lets meet at C forst and then we'd decide where to go, im like ok. oh i forgot to add, when we were texting he said something like, is ur phone pre-paid, if it is id like to send u some credit, dont take offence, its just a matter of principle right, so im like no thank you, he goes oh i this feminine arrogance, call it whatever u like mate, its what my cmf calls annoying independence.

sunday:

meet up at C for 3.40pm (yeah i was fashionably late and what???), so theres they guy sitting reading a newspaper, ok hello!!! oh hi 'muah muah' u know the hug and cheek touching thing, so sit down and start to talk about random things work blha blha blah. anyway so i order a chapman and hes having strawberry milkshake (as in WTF) anyway he brings up the credit thing again an dim like NO whats teh matter with this dude. do i look like one of those unilag grils or what?? anyway im like guess what im paying for my drink, hell i might just pay for urs too ( i can see naijabloke shaking his head), anyway so we leave C and hes like lets go, we get into his car (i left my car at C) and hes driving towards lekki, im like dude where r we going hes like i dont know live dangerously for once, lets go far, im like dude i aint going far, i told u that yesterday he goes u r not the one driving (e gba mi who be this cocky dude) im like yeah, guess what im a very violent girl ( and i subtly tell hima about my black belt in Karate) oh boy come see as bros mellow. anyway so we got to this really nice place in Lekki, its like a park. very nice. i recommend it, anyways so this place is like walking in the forest with everything birds, monkeys and all, even a tree house. anyway so we r there just walking and talking and all, so we get to this place where theres a bench u can sit ona nd look at the crocodiles, so we sit still talking, and then i stand to go look over at the crocs, he then stands too, so we r looking and talking and he hugs me ( no wahala abi) and then wait for it, dude tries to kiss me, as WTF, sorry again WTF, is this dude on crack, mo da ran, whats this..........................

to be continued..... investment meeting!!!!

ONBs Tag - Sex

2007-01-11T11:27:00.000+01:00

ONB, I cant believe u tagged me on this, u r the craziest person I know. Lol im going to try and answer as honestly as possible

1.How old were you the first time? 21

2.) Name of your first? for blog sake lets call him Mr B

3.) Good or Bad? Not fantastic, but painful.

4.) Name of the worst and why? My first, I don’t know guess it was his first time as well and he pretty much just faffed around, cant say he knew what he was doing, hell neither did I lol.

5.) Name of the best and why? Again for blog sake lets call him Dex, extremely gentle, knew how to work his way round, gave me my first orgasm in two years, I mean what can I say.!

6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? At the Beach.

7.) Favorite Position: None, im very boring in bed. O maybe I haven’t discovered it yet, hell im just not that into sex ok,

8.) Ever fake an orgasm? Yes, and I don’t apologise for it.

9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? Yes, I did, he asked.!

10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? 4am just before u have to get up for work (never happened) ok I lie I lie.

11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? Maybe 4

12.) Same person? bloddy hell what do u take me for, of course the same person.

13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? Honestly no. and I hope I never have to.

14.) Restrictions during sex? Come again????

15.) Accessories? Never tried one

16.) What? I kid u not

17.) Done it in the rain? The shower count?

18.) Done it in a car? No, ok I lie, yes!!

19.) Had a Threesome? No, never will.

20.) Want to have sex now? Actually no, im ill.

Ohmigod I don’t believe I did this. ONB see what u have caused now ehn!!!!!! ok so now i tag anyone i ve ever left a comment on their blog.

no sense.

2007-01-06T15:17:00.000+01:00

Happy new year people. apologies for goin awol. its been crazy (as usual) for me. i have so much to say but dont know where to start from so ill just do random talks ok?

xmas hols was great, spent most of my time with cmf and his family (yeah i know), anyway somehow cmfs wife and i have become really good friends in recent times and its fantastic, now i feel bad for fancying (if theres a word like that) her husband, ok yeas so i admit i was/am in love with my cmf but whatever thats a blog for another day jare. had a lil something at home on new years day, lots to eat and drink and all, it was fun.

im back at work now, and im starting to get itchy feet, thinking of changing jobs, ive been here for a year and a month now and im starting to no tlike the place very much, well not liek i used to anyway.

this year has to be better than last year, in fact i can feel it already......

i wonder why i cant just write eveything i think, i wonder will i get in trouble with someone, will someone know who i am, will i hurt someone, there is so much going on in my head, i need to pour it out, but i dont know how, im tired, my emotions r on overdrive, im lonely, im bored, i want to run away where no one knows me........... maybe i should......

Accideant/plea for advice/blah blah blah

2006-12-25T19:47:00.000+01:00

hey guys, merry xmas!!!!!
havent been here in a few days its been mad. hence the title of this blog.

Accident:
ok so im driving to work on friday about 1pm and dancing in my car, i stopped at a red light only for some idiot to reverse straigh into me, i froze!!!! my car is only five months old!!!!! ohmigod whats this. anyway so i come out of the car ready to bust the guy/girls face, only for some really old man to come out of the car and looked at me and just started begging, he went flat on the floor, i couldnt even say anything i just told him to get up and go. so now the front of the car is like messed up, have to buy a new grid (or whatever that thing is called) new radiator, new horn, this just had to happen to me right???

plea for advice/open letter to EX-Fiance.
ive never blogged about this/him cos its a very fresh wound, but i will today cos im really confused now. ok so my ex and i dated for 3 years or thereabouts although i met him like 7 r so years ago, we were friends for 4 years before we started ating, he was like the man of my dreams, he couldn do anything wrong, he loved me like never before and i loved him madly too, everything was perfect or so we thought until his mum dropped a bombshell on us about 5 or 6 months into our relationship. she told him she didnt like me, and there fore he couldn marry me and it would be over her dead body he would marry me and blah blha. of course we thought she was joking and still carried on. he tried to talk to her to find out if it was somethign i had done or something she heard. no show. the woman just kept saying things that didnt make sense, one min she didnt like me cos i was from a particular state, the next it was cos ofd the school i went to, the other it was about the fact that i used to model, she just had one thin g or the other to say, anyway we still carried on praying and hoping that one day se would change her mind and see how wonderfull and blah blah i was. little did we know. anyway so baby asked me to marry him early his year, i couldnt have wanted anything else, my YES was louder and bigger than he imagined. evveryone was happy, i was, my family his friends, his sister eveyone. i thought she was happy too, little did i know that he didnt even tell her he asked me to marry him, things just went downhill from there, she started calling my fone telling me i should leave her son alone or she would 'show me' i fear o' the threats were mad, i was scared of what she could do, hey dont get it wrong im strong christian okay, but lets be realistic here, these things happen. so i spoke to baby about it and im like i cant do this o, i cant marry u if we dont get ur parents blessings, hes like dont worry about it my dads cool i dont really care about her blessings jare. im like dude u r getting it all wrong. anyway im gonna cut this short, one day she called me about 10pm or so, and told me point blank that if i didnt leave her son alone, i wouldnt live to tell the story, now that freaked me out, i got to work the next day and i coudlnt say anything , not even to cmf, at one point i just burst into tears and had tot ell cmf wat was going on. anyway i called him and said hey guess what i cant do this anymore, i dont want to go on with this relationship, of course he tried to say dont worry everythign would be fine and blah blh blah, i just coudlnt do it. so now its been nearly 7 months since we broke up and i talk too him every now and then just to see how he is and all that. now on sunday morning aboyt 6am, i get a text message from him saying hey i need to aks u his one last time. i need to know if u still want me in ur life or not just give me a yes or no. now i dont know what to say, no doubt i love hima nd all that but its not always just about love an ive tried to explain this to him, no show. the guy is just not taking no for an nswer and 7 months down the line hes asking me again??? what the hell d i tell him???

4 days to xmas.

2006-12-20T11:39:00.000+01:00

ok so its 4 days to christmas and about 11 or so till the end of the year. today has been reflection day for me, im so Grateful, for everything thats happened this year, for good healtg, Grace, numerous blessings, money, love, everything, most of all im grateful for still being here.

Merry Xmas everyone.

PS: short blogs like this mean theres work coming out of my ears, nose, eyes, everywhere, so i promis id be back with gist soon, so muchs happened o, so much to blog about.

Grateful,,,,,,,

2006-12-12T14:22:00.000+01:00

Oh Man, another day in your Life!!

Good morning new day, how are you? This is a rhetorical question that goes through my mind every day I am blessed enough to wake up. Needless to say, there will be mornings when the question will NOT be so chirpy! As we grow older and (hopefully) get wiser (and if lucky, financially secure!!), we find it easier to face the day cheerfully, with little or no trepidation!! No magic to this, just that you know there is simply NOTHING you can do to change God’s plan for you.

Man is blessed (or shall I say cursed?) with wants and needs that ensure his day-to-day struggle to improve his lot continuously. These needs and wants differ from person to person, society to society and culture to culture. In Scandinavian countries where the poverty level is practically non-existent, wants and needs will more likely be emotional than material. In Latin America the needs will be more material than emotional. As we say in Nigeria, ‘na who chop bele-full fit fight’. If you do not have food, shelter and any kind of financial security, how will you worry about things like love, romance, affection buying shares, taking out Insurance for your family or opening a trust fund for children still unborn?

The difference in priority goes for gender too. Men and women universally worry about different things. Since man is traditionally known as the bread winner (I use this word very loosely!!), he is raised to think about providing financial security, building a home and generally providing for his family (In the good ole’ days). So, typically, his days are filled with ‘that meeting…... that project….., that deal…..,’ e.t.c. Women typically fret about different things. We are traditionally the home makers (again, I use this word very loosely!!). We worry about our children, husbands and families (usually in that order). We think about the million ways we can keep them safe from harm, love them and nourish them. As we all know (hopefully through other people’s experiences and not ours!!) there are role reversals. Times are changing and the lines dividing men and women are less clear (in ways we don’t even want to think about!). In these times when women are more educated and thus have better earning power than ever before, role reversal is inevitable really. In some instances, women are earning more than their partners (sistahs, I envy you not!). In the western world, the concept of a house husband is not a new one (Men who stay at home and take care of the kids while mommy goes out to earn a living).

As an old flame would say, if it ain’t spoilt why fix it? Whatever works, baby.

On a closer look at man and all we stand for, it is clear to me that smooth sailing is only sure when you have a divine source of sustenance. Without God, we are in a concentric movement, with no direction and follow path after path of confusion, misdirection and even failure. Just look back at how many futile journeys you might have embarked on in the past (and in some cases in the present) and you begin to see what I mean. Without God, we wander aimlessly in a world where chaos reigns supreme. God is quite literarily and figuratively, my alpha and omega. He centres me (when I allow him), directs and guides me. He keeps me humble. In so many ways he reminds me that I am only as much as he allows me. If not, why are there so many people who have no family to love them? Why are there people on the streets, sleeping under the bridges, afflicted with unimaginable diseases, begging for money, suffering from terminal illnesses, going through grief NO man should ever go through? Why are there people dying in war torn countries, in ‘natural disasters’, accidents, abject poverty and literal starvation . . . . . . .. I could go on forever and never go through all the reasons I am blessed and therefore must face each day with humility and gratitude.

My prayer for us all is that we remember we are only as much as God allows us to be. All we are and all we have are by HIS Grace. If not, why is it that the hardest most diligent worker is not necessarily the one who achieves the most? Some people just seem to live charmed lives. Good things just gravitate towards them! They are not necessarily the kindest or nicest of people. In fact they usually are not so great! Why else would we notice those inconsistencies? Ours is not to wonder why. Divine mercy and blessings we pray will be our portion.

Brothers and sisters, in the course of running around chasing the things we consider priority, we often forget the things that really matter. We worry about what to wear, how to amass a fortune, how to meet the man or woman we will eventually marry, how to plan for old age (that we are not sure to even see!), how to outshine our neighbour in clothes and jewellery or wealth. We are in constant competition with each other! In the process of chasing after these things that edify our bodies and selves, we starve our spirits. Ironically, the only thing created to last forever is what we neglect the most! The Holy Bible says ‘My people perish for lack of knowledge’. If only we invest a fraction of the time spent on our bodily, mental and financial wellbeing on our spiritual upkeep, we will be wealthy beyond our dreams. Thankfully, there is a spiritual revival sweeping through our land. People young and old alike are beginning to feel the quickening and yearning for God’s word and his unconditional love. It becomes clearer that in this cruel and often deceitful world, God is our only true sure friend.

Finally, let us remember that it is more important to show love, humility compassion and faith in our dealings with one another. The Bible reminds us that if we have all the gifts of the Holy Spirit and we do not have love, it is a waste. It will be Christmas for the Christians and Id-Fitri for muslims in a few weeks. Let us use the season wisely, in sharing of love and blessing with each other. Let us employ moderation in all things and not get carried away with the physical things in life. After all, our time on earth is but an infinitesimal fraction of our existence according to Our Father’s plan for us!!!!

Merry Xmas and May the New Year usher in blessings beyond our dreams!!!

this piece was writte n by my dear friend A and i was so touched by it i had to put it up here. God Bless you all o. all my new blog friends, my friends, family, colleaugues, everyone, May God grant ur all ur hearts desires. Amen.